My life in semi-focus but with great DOF

How to use Flickr....

2011-06-18T14:42:00.000-07:00

Because my mom's friend asked her and she asked me to show them and this is the easiest way to do that on a day when my pet donkey has died and I have a cough and have to go to urgent care... without further long story short...I give to you... How to use flickr in 15 easy steps... maybe more if this drives you to drink somewhere in the middle, it's up to you.

Your starting page on Flickr, note the "Your Contacts" at the bottom, pics from your contacts show up here.

Under the "You" tab find the Upload Photos and Videos option

Choose your photographs from your computer....

Choose your privacy settings, public for photographs you don't care who sees and this is the easiest setting

While your pictures are uploading, perhaps consider starting up a hobby, like crochet, novel writing, cooking

Once your photographs have uploaded, click the "Add a description" option

Here you can add tags, an easy way to find your photographs or for others to find your photographs, and add them to a set or create a set for them to be in.. scroll to the bottom of the page..

Choose a set or create one

Here you can save them as is, or save them and also edit them with the fun tool "Picnik" try it, it's fun

Once you have your photographs uploaded you can mess with them individually by clicking on that button in the left corner of each photograph, in this case I'm going to rotate it. You can also edit in picnik or delete, view all sizes if this isn't your photograph so you can download it to your computer

This is a set, in the top right hand corner there is an email button, facebook, twitter, you can choose how you want to share with friends

Or you can click this button to grab a link and paste into an email or write on a napkin for someone to find your set

For people to be able to easily see your photographs you need to adjust your account, under the "you" tab click "your account"

In your Privacy & Permissions section of your account, adjust the top one, also.. for the truly nosy.. that is not my current or recent or a functioning email because I felt like being difficult. hmph.


For others to be able to download your photograph and work on it, click anyone, if you want to add someone as a contact and then only they (and your other contacts can see your photographs), click the "your contacts" option there.

. Find the contacts tab next to the "you" tab, to the right, then either search for those that you know or have them find you...

Hope that helped,
sincerely,
Megzy. *cough* .. now off to the doctor yippee whohoo.

Life in Tapestry Form

2011-03-02T12:28:00.000-08:00

There's a lot I don't know about my family.. there's a lot I don't understand and I may never totally understand them.
Life is a tapestry made of up all the threads of the people that have touched our lives in some way. I think most of that is laid on the background of family.
Recently, almost as if it was yesterday... oh wait. That was yesterday, I started communicating with a few cousins. It was strange at first, these strangers that I share dna with. Are they like me? Am I like them? Do we do the same things? Like the same things?
I don't know yet, I must admit I find the whole idea intriguing.

I also wholeheartedly believe that there's the family we are related to, and we should get to know them at least recognize them in case we ever need a kidney or something, but there's also the family that we have chosen by choosing the people that surround us, that we trust. In that case I can honestly say that I have never been cousinless. That I have always had a random aged very eclectic mix of people that formed a great support group for me, there were artists, mothers, sisters, daughters, fathers, brothers, photographers, fashionistas, glamour girls, cowboys, hard workers, crafty people, .... survivors. I couldn't have asked for more in my life.
I don't ask for any different for my children. Cousin wise, they don't have a lot of options, I'm thinking of taking them to a family reunion in July so they can meet hundreds at once and be dazzled, but honestly, I am profoundly grateful for the people who have adopted us and allowed us to adopt them. They have formed a stunning and stable backdrop for my children to embroider their lives across and I'd like to say...
Thank You.

love,
Megzy

Laying out my heart....

2011-02-28T14:38:00.000-08:00

I am laying all my cards on this 'table', laying out my heart for you all to see.

Take what you will from it, or don't. Either way, words are building up in my head and keeping me awake at night and writing them down is my only hope of a less troubled night of sleep.

It all started last year, seems like not that long ago and almost forever at the same time. I trusted the wrong people, persons, whatever, with my heart. I trusted. Trust is hard for me, I'm still working on that but I think it might be a lifetime project. I trusted. They let me down. They threw me away like garbage taking up too much room in their lives. They made me feel worthless.....because I allowed them to.
I allowed these people to come into my life in whatever way they were a part of it, and I allowed them to act badly and I did not stand up for myself and ask why. I did not stand up and say don't treat me this way. I allowed them to crumple me up like used gum and toss me aside. Why did I do that? I still don't know.
Will I do it again? No. I will not.
Wait don't think that I'm giving up on the human race, I'm not. No such thing. I am still full of hope that people mean what they say, mean to keep their promises.
However, I am no longer going to allow people to stomp on me. If I had had greater courage to ask the Why questions perhaps things would be different, maybe not.
Seems to me that if people get that upset in the first place to act that badly towards a fellow human, they probably weren't really friends in the first place, and that, dear friends...is not my fault.
This year, I give my heart away freely, I will trust more, and I will be braver. I will do this because although I will get slammed a few times and I will get hurt... most of the time I will find new friends where I least expected it and I will discover new facets to myself and my mere existence as a human on this planet.
I still have a lot to learn.
but this much I know.
I am not a doormat.

And if you're about to freak out because you think this post is about you... take a deep breath and read the following carefully:
It is not about YOU. This is about ME. And if you think you were the ONE to hurt me... please be assured that you are not the ONE, there were several of you and all in the space of year... I think you should find one another, maybe form a group of some kind, get matching jackets and have club meetings. I harbor no resentment, I cling to no hate, it's not who I am. I do not retaliate, I do not seek vengeance, I do not attack, I do not hit back... I am a pacifist, I am for peace. .... always ;)

I wish....

2010-11-18T22:32:00.000-08:00

I wish that when a dream dies that we could have a funeral for it... that we could lay it out in a casket and surround it with flowers and say "look wasn't it beautiful? Wasn't it just too young to be gone?"
Then we could all talk about what could have been and have food and crying would be allowed, and we could have closure and maybe grieve for awhile and move on.
Since we can't do that, I'm just going to say that sometimes things don't turn out the way we want, sometimes the answer to our pleas is no, not now.
And... life goes on, and new dreams will come, they always do.

YOU are the wind beneath my cape....

2010-10-23T21:07:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder why Superman, Batman, all those cape wearing type superheroes sit at the top of a building and look down at the city..
it's so their cape can flap around and make that whoosh sound...
why does their cape flap around anyways?
because there is a large amount of air that is blowing it around for them....
Where does this air come from??
I am going to theorize that it comes from haters. That's right.. the hot air of the nonsensical rantings and ravings of people who have nothing better to do then complain about them and cause trouble and make accusations and mostly put a lot more hot air out there...

Recently I got myself in trouble.. again. *gasp* you say, well... it's true sadly enough.
I used a word that got people in my far flung gene pool upset with me, it wasn't a bad word, it wasn't even a slang word, but these people who do not know me and do not care to know me got mad. They got mad enough to cause stress and woe to my immediate family, and I do NOT LIKE THAT.

I do not and will never understand why people who have a choice to do the kind thing or the wrong thing.. pick the wrong thing 99% of the time.
My mom and dad said I was a very kind person, I don't know about that, I don't think a kind person would get fed up with everyone thinking their little "me me me me" thoughts all the time, I doubt a kind person would be tempted every now and then to open the car door when passing a bicyclist... but that's another story.

People will never understand one another 100% percent. People will always take something that is said the wrong way. We will always cause one another pain in some way.
But... I still want to hope. I want to believe that those that misunderstand me will take the time to get to know me better, I want to think that there is an entire human family out there that is dysfunctional but honest, honest enough to realize that we can take the high road or the easy road.
I want to believe. I do.
In the meantime... I have to be my own superhero, because if I don't save myself from drowning in this sea of missed chances, missed opportunities, and miscommunication noone will.
So thank you people who like to hate and cause trouble... because of you, my cape goes whoosh and I remember I can fly....

oh.. and make it a great day! :)
~ Megzy

Starting Fresh...

2010-10-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

Started working again, but this is a little different, photographing just for me, without even a shadow of a thought of sales... well alright there is a shadow of a thought, but, just for me.
Our friends got me started again, they started a 365 day project group on Flickr, and I joined... and I'm having a really good time.
Life has been like that lately, there are moments I just don't want to enjoy, I want to wallow, I want to be upset... and I can't help it, I just can't stick with a good slump, a thrilling downward spiral.
I am learning to say no to things that I don't want to do and that makes the yeses when I say them so much more honest and heartfelt and I make myself all proud in the process of doing :)
I'm growing up I suppose, although it doesn't feel like it, I don't miss the awkward birth - 30 years.. but.. I do kind of miss the size 2 jeans.
I am starting to photograph again, and to take what I like, to learn what I like, to edit how I like.... it's fun, why didn't I do this earlier??? :)

Life, Love, and Letting go

2010-05-16T07:25:00.000-07:00

Let me start off by saying that I have never NEVER been good with goodbyes, ever. That whole "letting go" thing is a difficult concept for me.
That being said..
Today I am saying goodbye and letting go of a small life that has been in my care for just about the past 6 years. Her name is Clyde, and those of you who have followed my photographs over the years will recognize her as my African Leopard Tortoise.
...and although I love her very much, and I have found her to be excellent company, she's going off to a better home today. A home that will give her the winter habitat and diet that she needs, and hopefully they will see in her the personality that I have come to love dearly.
Making this decision is beyond hard, it would be selfish and wrong for me to keep her just because I happen to love her but can't provide well for her.
It is because I love her and respect her life that she is finding a new family.
and I... I am... going to let her go.
We have learned a lot about life and love over the past year, and maybe a little bit about letting go. We have had friends going through terrible situations and there's nothing we can do to help.
This is all that I have learned and maybe it's a lot, that the one you love may have come to you damaged and no matter how tenderly you hold them, how willing you are to keep them safe, and to love them... they may still fly away. But love is being able to let them go and hoping that while they were there that you helped them to be a better more complete person.

The year of asserting myself....

2010-03-16T13:29:00.000-07:00

.... sort of.
So this is the year of "Asserting Myself"... the year that I say what I need to say, do what I need to do, put all my trust in my faith, hope, and beliefs, and in God himself.. and... go for it.
This is the year that I don't say yes out of guilt and I don't say no out of self preservation.
This is the year that I am a great wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend.

Umm... starting now.
Well tomorrow then, definitely tomorrow.

Somewhere in the past few months I have forgotten to do the things that I like to do, the things that make me the Megzy that I am. I haven't touched my camera other than to record my baby girls first loose tooth, since December. That's right December.. for those of you playing at home that's 25% of a year.. I can't believe it either.
I am going to go back to the picture a day, pronto! Hub got us a new computer but in unhooking the old one and setting up the new one my pictures were not transferred over and my computer editing software was lost. I am still in mourning. I have decided to take the approach mentally that there was a terrible fire and everything of mine was lost but hey lookie there I still have my family, my health, my sanity.. well.. ok at least I still have my camera. So life is possible and even probable. I will find another program at a reasonable price and I may even like it BETTER than the one that I had before. It's plausible!

Spring is almost here, skies are blue, the breeze is fresh and cool, and the hillsides are a vibrant orange as the poppies make their presence known. (Don't worry .. pictures will follow)

Winter was miserable for the most part, sick kids, sick me, frustrations, aggravations, rain, rain, rain, mud.
I am looking forward to spring, to warm days, to admiring everyone's flowers as we go from door to door.
I am hoping that I will put my ducks more in a row so to speak (I don't actually have ducks), and things will fall into place.

So far, so good. I have made some great new friends lately, and I am feeling deeply content with where I am and looking forward to where I am going.

... at the moment I'm going to get another cup of coffee.
I'll be back soon.
:)
love,
Megzy

a Rose by any other name? Really?

2009-12-25T20:52:00.000-08:00

Today I followed several conversations, had a few of my own, and polled family and friends to answer a question... Does it matter the words that we choose to use? I mean "sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you..." right? right?
well...
Let's think about this, who has ever gotten a break up letter, a mean email, seen their friends hurt on some social media (i.e. facebook, twitter)... those words hurt, but they're only words how much damage could they do?

All I kept coming back to is this... as the world gets smaller and smaller and we use our words more often to express ourselves in such things as online job resumes, blogs, comments on blogs, social networks, online chat rooms, journals, photograph postings, virtual stores, advertising.. how do the words we pick out of the plethora of words that make up our world reflect on us. Can we use them as an accurate mirror to reflect ourselves or do we just float along on the current of popular trends allowing them to choose our words, our pattern of speech for us?

This is my conclusion. Our words matter. We may have the ability to open our mouth and curse in four different languages, but should we? no! Why not? why not just spew whatever we're thinking and use whatever words we want although they have a deep and varied history but might possibly offend someone? The reason is this.. they do not reflect well on us. If you hear someone on a street corner using curse words, do we think, "hey that person seems really nice let's be friends?" no... If we see someone's store listing with every word misspelled, do we think they're a boutique or a bargain basement? ... so if we allow ourselves to get sucked into this debate about what words are ok and what words are bad, haven't we already made a choice?

There is a scripture in the Bible at 1 Corinthians 6:12 - "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are advantageous" ... think about it, you can use any words you want, but are they truly advantageous, do they show you off for your inner person that you are? Or do they just make you look rude?

My children have recently found a slew of words that aren't bad per se.. but they don't just say them, they spit them out venomously at each other, at the wall they stubbed their toes on, at their mother who grounded them (yes they got their mouths scrubbed out with soap.. they didn't really mind the sugar lime one from www.deshawnmarie.etsy.com :).. ok it was more of a threat then they really got soaped..but the threat worked so we're good). As a mom I have to put a stop to them acting in any way that would be unloving to any other human. As a mentor I have to stop them from acting in any way that would be unloving to any other human AND would reflect badly on them as the people they are becoming.

We are human, we are all trying to make our way through this world, part of that is handling one another with care, if we do not choose our words thoughtfully and with care, are we failing?
The world around us thinks nothing of using really really bad words and language all the time, but I don't think that should mean we can use just sort of, maybe, possibly, could be considered by some to be, bad words just because we can.
Where does the breakdown in love for one another start, in our thoughts, our actions.. our words.

Let's use our words to build each other up, to help one another, to take care of one another. Let's be more like the poet, the song writer.. choosing words as carefully as an artist picks a shade of paint, let's act like every single thing we type or say will be embroidered somewhere or made into an illuminated manuscript.. is there anything there that might make us squirm a little?

That's all I've got, I'm just a mom trying to take these things as they come hurtling towards me at warp speed. I think if my children come out of on the other side as the God-fearing, creative, beautiful adults that I know they will be, ... maybe I can handle them heading towards teenagehood way too fast. I want to squish them down into childhood for a few more decades but I have an 8 year old who thinks I'm a "meanie head" (don't you dare laugh.. don't even crack a smile...) and a 6 year old who wants a cell phone (she won't be getting one!).

I think if I can get them through this jungle that is growing up in once piece it's going to be because along the way they allowed themselves to become greatly kind and to have beautiful manners.

That's my conclusion anyways,
:)
Much love,
Megzy

Life as it is, today anyways

2009-12-14T21:41:00.000-08:00

So my parents and baby sister have been in Guatemala and Mexico for the past week, well over a week really, and they'll be home in three days.

They're having a wonderful time, they've met a billion or so brothers who dress in native and colorful outfits, who welcomed them, hugged them, kissed them, fed them, sang to them, walked them to their seats, walked them to their bus, held their hands, gave them presents. They've heard a very special talk given by a very special member of the governing body. They've actually seen 114, 000 people all in one place, and heard them sing together. They've seen 1,003 people get baptized in symbol of their dedication to Jehovah. They've slept in an airport, rushed for planes, been delayed, taken buses, taken planes, gotten up early, gone to bed late, gotten to know new people, and... and... and...

Now not to belittle all this, or to put it down in any way, because this is an amazing experience for them, a limited time only taste of awesomeness available to the very few, and I am beyond thrilled for them that they got to go. I am proud of their persistance and tenacity in getting ready for this trip, over a year of planning, and in that year just about every single possible thing that could've gone wrong for them in their lives, did actually go wrong. But they just kept at it, they stuck with it, stuck to it, and stuck it out. Good for them! Really!! I'm so proud of them.
However, all that aside...

They've now joined that club. Those of us who are not in that club recognize members of "that" club... you know the ones, the brothers and sisters surrounded by the small yet fawning mob at the conventions who have the fabulous travel and convention experiences to relate when you have the screaming toddler on one hip and dragging her equally cranky sister behind you while you're loaded down with the lunchbag, two kids' backpacks, your own bag, and you're wearing mom shoes that you no longer feel are quite as cute as you thought they were when you left the hotel for the convention that morning.
As you beat your way through that lovely crowd of brothers and sisters, "oh excuse me brother, sorry sister, oops was that your foot? sorry, didn't mean to smack you with the bag when I turned to pry the child's hands off the railing of the section we just passed...."... you hear snatches of great stories, stories that make those in "that" club all nod knowingly at each other, "you know how it is" they say, and "we do know" say the nodding ones...
then they turn...
they see you, loaded down with children, and stuff, and frazzled, and sad, and just happy to have gotten that far today, and as one they shake their heads with pity because such a tragic creature as the parent with small children will never know the joy of being in "that" club. So they won't tell you every detail of every story because they don't want to make you feel bad, they don't want you to feel even more left out then you possibly could, they won't send you every email, or photograph, or show you each momento because they don't see how you could possibly relate. They don't do it to be mean, they don't do it on purpose... they've just seamlessly been integrated into the club, and you, you have not.

So although I love my family and I am very happy for them that they have gotten to go, I know the price of them going, the price of being left behind. It's not a price they will ever understand, they may see it as bitter, as hurt, as jealous, and it isn't, what it is is a barrier has been breached, a dividing line made... they're going to start a million sentences with "oh hey remember when..." or "Did I tell you about..." and then they will come to a screeching halt because I don't and they didn't.

Here's the funny thing all of you in "that" club... those of us who are not in that club.. are lives are full of adventure and drama and exotic cusine and tests of stamina and skill that put both Survivor and The Amazing Race to shame. We can balance a just finally fell asleep newborn with colic on one shoulder and as we go to slide them into their beds so we can get the 2 hours of sleep we require to start the next day.. step on a lego and yet never jostle that baby, never squeak in pain... this is awesome skill people, really truly.
We can manage amazing feats like getting everyone ready for meeting including doing hair and out the door on time making do in such a way that McGyver is taking notes.

I am not a member of the club that my parents and sister have joined but I will look forward to their stories and will suck up every little nuance of their trip that I can get to so that one day I'll be prepared to learn my secret club handshake of international airflight and tetris like precision of packing one piece of luggage with perfection.

Until then.... I remain...
with love,
Megzy :)

After much consideration

2009-11-08T07:34:00.000-08:00

.. I have come to this conclusion.
I need to just tell you all what has been going on and how I feel about it, then leave it up to you to figure out how to help. I know I have smart and wonderfully caring people that read this blog whenever I manage to post something new.

My grandfather died one year ago, one year and a few days to be exact. I have tried to live my life since last year in a way that will make those that we lost really proud when I finally get to tell them all that has happened since they died. My grandfather taught us as a family the value of hard work and taking care of your family. I think that he would be sad to know that the plans that he thought he had made to help take care of his family after his death did not work out as well as they could've. That the family that he so loved has not pulled together to help each other out but pulled apart in a mad scramble to get as much as they could out of the estate and to try and not be held responsible for any of it.
It's not fair, it's not the way he would've wanted things but really there is nothing to be done.

My mom is the baby of her family, the youngest of 13, (yes that's right 13...grandma was kind of awesome right?), and she was one of only 2 daughters that grandma and grandpa had together after he married grandma and took care of her and her 11 children... (that's right he was an amazing kind of guy).
Grandpa wanted to see my mom and my sister taken care of, and by association my dad. My sister was his main caretaker, living at the house and she brought a lot of joy to his life, taking him to his first Dodgers' game at Dodger Stadium with his family, taking him for walks on the beach, etc.

For the past year my parents and baby sister have been getting ready to go to the International Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses in Mexico City, Mexico. Much planning and excitement has been going on. Then Grandpa died, and excitement was dampened, but the planning continued because he would've wanted them to go and see the area where he was born and to experience a taste of global brotherhood.

My parents are both regular pioneers, (that's what we call a full time volunteer door to door bible teacher, see my previous posts), my dad works very hard at RBC projects (he volunteers the majority of his weekends to helping in the purchasing department at the Kingdom Hall builds), they are avid gardeners, grillers, good friends and highly creative people. They love to laugh and just enjoy a sunny morning with a good cup of coffee.

Up until a few months ago they lived and worked on an estate in Tucson, Arizona. The same place that most of my best photographs come from. Then the estate changed hands, no longer belonging to the cancer support center but sold to another health group but it was now going to be profitable instead of a non profit group. (got that so far?)
They lost their jobs and their house all in one day, to make matters sadder they've had to put down both of their elderly pot bellied pigs for health reasons, and had to move to an even smaller place then the house they shared with offices on the estate.

They need help. They're trying really hard to get this new business off the ground. My mom is selling on Ebay. They continue to pioneer, and that gets expensive.
They're still going to Mexico for the convention but I would love to find a way for all of us to help them out a little and see if we can at least smooth the bumpy road that this past year has been.
Don't get me wrong, they're not destitute and fighting over the last can of tuna while they're wide eyed starving puppy looks on... just things are a bit stressful, and with the family drama of fighting over the will, probably more stressful then they have to be.

Let me say in no uncertain terms that I am disappointed and frankly, disgusted, by how my family has behaved towards my mother and sister. I never expected to be considered in any of this so my ire is not for myself, but I feel bereft of family, I feel exposed and shamed by their behavior, as if the happy memories that I grew up with were an act put on for my grandparents' benefit and now that they're gone why should they pretend to care for us!

Here's how we can help my parents, or what I've come up with so far...

You can go check out Pre-Paid Legal, which benefits them, sign up for "Blast-Off" from the banner on their page and they get credited with points, points become dollars, all good, and bonus - Blast Off is pretty cool, and free... it's FREE. :)
You can sign up for Pre-Paid Legal.. check out the program and benefits, it's an amazing service and if you sign up, you help out my parents a lot, if you sign up for a month you help them, keep the program and you help them, sign up for the program and then sell it yourself and you become their new favorite child... (2nd to me of course ;) just kidding, they don't actually play favorites, but you're welcome to try!)
http://prepaidlegal.com/hub/rjbriggs

You can check out my mom's auctions and sales on Ebay and see if anything catches your eye.
http://stores.ebay.com/cleoshops1

You can contact me on how to make a paypal donation to them along with a friendly note, or you can do it anonymously and I'll never tell them who it was by making a paypal donation to me and I'll pass it along. (Email me and I'll get you the right addresses for Paypal.)

That's all I have.
I have no easy answers, no great bursts of wisdom, no rich dead relatives to fall over and make it all better with a well written iron clad will. I just have me, and now maybe I have you too.
Please pass this blog link along to anyone that you think might be willing to read it over and consider my family a little in their thoughts and even in their prayers.

much love,
Megzy

I know it's been awhile...

2009-10-31T07:49:00.000-07:00

... so hi! :)
Lots to see and say about every day since September 1st.. it's been a whirlwind to say the least, but it's been a wonderful few months.

I've been trying to remind myself to live each day as what it is, one day. One day to be awesome or just one day to be lousy.. but that it's one day, not a commitment to dismal failure or resounding success. How does a photographer do that you might ask, well... like this:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/megzytred/sets/72157622222561579/

I'm a better, stronger, happier person when I was in August, or any other month before that. Pioneering again has just been blessing after blessing, talking more at doors to every type of person is a lot like flexing muscles that haven't been worked in awhile. I need more practice and I've fallen into bad habits but working with a lot of different ones in our hall is definitely helping with that.
A lot of well meaning people told me, "how can you pioneer won't that be hard on your children?" turns out the answer to that would be a resounding NO. They are thriving and pushing me waaay out of my comfort zone to say the least. Gracie girl is blossoming, working with others and walking, not just wanting to stay with me and be carried. This time of year is not good for her since she's a Hallo-weenie and gets freaked out by every fake spider and every fake spider web, giant pumpkin or plastic skelaton.
Heidi has been truly breath taking in her growth, she's made huge leaps and bounds, not just in her physical growth, (almost up to my shoulder?!?!) but she's joined the Theocratic Ministry School, becoming a publisher, and making her own arrangements so she can put in long days.
Also... writing a pretty awesome paper about the enigmatic and "supercool" Platypus...
our family now knows many a random platypus fact, just ask us!

Ok this friendly update has been brought to you by the house of quiet and wellbehaved children and the fresh pot of coffee that a dear and darling hubby made for me..
;)
~ Megzy

Jumping in!

2009-08-29T08:31:00.000-07:00

LOL never meant for it to take me a whole month to get back to my blog.. oh well, life happens quickly doesn't it???

In other news I've had some big changes going on in my life. Yes some sadnesses, some friends are now missing from our lives by their own choice... there's not a lot I can do about it, so although I miss them momentarily, I have some great memories and I have a lot of hope that they are going to pull their lives together in the near future.

so there's that.

Also, just a little thing, a side point really....

I've been approved to become a Regular Pioneer, for anyone who doesn't know what that is, a short explanation: I promise to spend 840 hours between sept 1 2009 & August 31st 2010 engaging in Bible based instruction, whether from door to door, letter writing, casually, informally, formally, or in any other way that I can think of.

Pretty cool right? Pretty awesome really!

I'm scared, excited, nervous... excited, freaked out, very happy... haven't had these kind of feelings since right before I got married. I go back and forth in my mind, what should I do, have I made the right decision..

comes down to a leap of faith. I know this is the right thing to do, the right time to do it. Is it going to be easy? No way, but it will be worth it.

This is my life, I'm jumping in..

love,

Megzy :)

It's not that I don't care....

2009-07-30T21:49:00.001-07:00

.... It's just that I'm really busy.

sigh.

This seems to be my mental mantra the past few weeks.

So to all that I have ignored, let me assure you, ... "it's not that I don't care... " ;)

I've been working on my priorities. Really really working on getting life organized and managed and ready for action. So far, so good, - Turn in regular pioneer application... Check. Wait nervously for the past two months to hear if I get to actually pioneer.... check, bite my nails, yep, check. Waiting.

While I've been waiting I've gotten some major housework done, friends have come and cut down a strange countertop in the kitchen that has annoyed me for 7 years, and then covered the stump with metal, flashing from Home Depot, so it's magnetic.. now we're going to put small pieces of copper pipe with magnets all over it so that it's a marble run. A game in the kitchen that looks a bit like modern art? Perfect!

I've gotten better at saying no to extra projects I can't handle right now. I've gotten better at saying no through text message then in person, but it's a start. It's not so much no, as it is I'm just scheduling them in small groups instead of a steady flood. "Yes I can do your photographs next week," "No I can't research your Ebay collectibles, but I can do that the week after next"...

I feel in charge, I feel strong, I feel tough, and I almost feel cute.
Although the only time I'll ever feel "hot" is if someone accidently lights me on fire, ha!

The plan is good, and the plan is go, I'm making a lot of promises to myself, including taking the time to write my blog and keep it up to date.

Don't give up on me and stay tuned people, I'll be around,

promise!

love,

~ Megzy

Big Corn? Small Elephant?

2009-06-02T10:48:00.000-07:00

Perspective. It's something we use daily but have we really thought about it? It's a photographers trick... playing with your perspective, your point of view and perception of scale. It's what we do.

It's also what we do as humans. The world is changing quickly, the nature of language along with it. How much of what we say should be from our individual perspective or opinion? How much for the benefit of others?
Conversations used to be just between two people, and they were savored, every nuance, gesture, and inflection, gave shades of meaning to the words used. Now with the invention of Twitter, text messaging, etc. one small paragraph of words can have a universe of possible meanings, and all of our messages are recorded and searchable. So what do we choose to leave behind? Are we leaving a lasting body of work of the person that we are, or that we would like to be?

I am not a successful photographer. I mean, I take photographs so technically I am a success at taking a photograph, I can do that. But I am not a paid photographer, it's more like a volunteer position at the moment. However, I know that the photographs that I take reflect me, my point of view, my perspective on life at that exact moment. It's my body of work. (however i think my body needs some work... hehe)

What am I choosing to leave behind by the words that I use?
I am constantly picking a point of view for the characters in my book, I can make them change their minds or where they're coming from. When I deal with others I try to make sure that my words are "seasoned with salt" so as to be appealing to whoever is reading. It's what I'm choosing to leave behind.

Our friends moved the other day, they literally had to choose what they were leaving.
I photographed this porch post because I painted it 10 years ago. So much has changed, paint has weathered, peeled. Our lives have changed just as much, new friends have come, we have lost others, gained children and experience. As lives have changed we have also changed how we express ourselves, choices in our perspective. I once chose to paint this entire set of stairs to brighten them up for a friend, now I choose to photograph them in their decay for my own amusement.

I'm still proud of what I painted. It's not the same and it's changed as I have, but now I can easily see my brush strokes, what each thing was made of at that moment. I like looking at people, the people that we even casually come in contact with in the Twitterverse and trying to see what they're made of, what enchants them, what makes them happy.

I hope that my daily perspective on life and what I love, who I love, will be appealing will be helpful and will hopefully inspire my children one day.

The interesting thing about perspective is that it's as unique as a fingerprint and although we may not always see eye to eye as humans, brothers, sisters, at least we know where we are each coming from and where we are going in life.

I thought these glass bottles were really interesting, I loved this photograph the second I took it, it also got turned down by every single website I submitted it to... difference in opinion? Yep, I'm going to say so.

Do I need everyone to love it? Nope, just one person willing to buy it in some format would be ok, just one like perspective.

:) I promise to blog more often.... I didn't realize it had been a month! So sorry!!
We're heading off for the convention tomorrow, I promise to update and reflect on the life that is going on around me on a more regular basis.... and for those who care enough to nag.. I promise to work on my book and get it finished before November. Happy?

I hope so!!

Love,

Megzy

Earth Day!

2009-04-22T16:44:00.001-07:00

Sure today is technically Earth Day, but isn't every day Earth Day? It should be!

A few months ago I came up this wonderful idea, Eco-Friendly Art Photography Prints... kind of a mouthful but a great idea.
You see, I get so tired of feeling guilty for all the packing materials that I use to ship art prints, that were shipped to me by the professional printers, so that's twice that packing materials had to be used to ship this one print to someone who still has to worry about frame, mounting, etc.
And I had to mark up my prices constantly to cover my printing and shipping costs and the costs of the materials I was going to use to ship the items....

Seems so silly doesn't it?

Don't you wish there was a faster, more ecologically friendly way to obtain great photography prints for your walls, custom wedding invitations, blank greeting cards, next collage project, or even for that small business just starting out but can't afford the high end stock photography subscription prices.....
I did!
I created Tredlight Photographs, ( http://tredlightphotographs.etsy.com ) to help fill this need.
Unfortunately, nobody else seems to understand what a great idea this is because I've only had two sales.

I'm feeling a little bit down about it all. I can't honestly believe that the person who cares enough about art to spend $50-100 on just one print couldn't see the value in buying the original file and getting it custom printed for the chance to not only be a little "green" but to save a little green and yet get a wonderful high end look.

I mean think about it.... how many times have you seen art that you liked but it was the wrong size, or it was printed glossy and you prefer matte prints?

Here's how I hoped it would work for my store, that someone would fall in love with a print, buy the print from me, I'd email them the print and a list of my favorite printing places that are online, they'd shop around for exactly what they wanted, upload the file, and voila! the print just gets shipped once to the happy customer who was able to order that photograph at just the perfect size, and maybe even in a different tone.... custom art for those of us on a budget, and come on, who isn't on a budget these days?

I'm posting the link to my store here, send it around to your friends and maybe, just maybe my little idea will find a happy home somewhere,
It's Earth Day, buying from my store is like giving the Earth a little hug, and hugs are good.
:)
http://tredlightphotographs.etsy.com

Love,
Megzy

Responsibility

2009-03-26T12:33:00.001-07:00

My little girl wanted a puppy, we met a puppy who seemed perfect and thought it would be a lifelong story with no sadness until she had lived a long wonderful life with us.

I was wrong.

Lola is adorable, she is velvety soft, had puppy breath, has big goofy feet and doesn't run but gallops, and has no brakes... just skids across the floor with a look of puppy joy.

She also bites.

she bites and attacks children. My children to be exact.

So here I am the mom who thought I'd be the hero and bring a new friend into their lives, instead I brought fear and heartache when the puppy went psycho and attacked Grace when we were putting her to bed. She's ok, she wasn't hurt, just scared.

She attacked Heidi this morning when she went to say hello to her. She has attacked my mom and myself on a few different occasions.

I'm not talking about the puppy pulling on your sock because they want to play kind of attack, I'm saying all out snarling growling teeth bared snapping psychotic fury.

so now I am the villian that Heidi says is heartless and cruel, Grace is more understanding but just as heartbroken. Gracie was really upset but she's been acting a little scared of Lola for the past week, keeping her distance. We googled photographs of children that had been bitten, I told them how awful would they feel if that happened to their baby cousins, to their friends?

Grace gets it, but she's very quiet as she looks out of the window at the puppy that should've been her friend and isn't.

Heidi is angry at the world and the unfairness of it all.

She's right, it isn't fair, I'm hurt and angry too.

Tomorrow Lola goes the way of the animal shelter, I called ahead, they're ready for her and think she'll have no problem finding a childless home.

Why is doing the right thing never easy?

Responsibility, knowing what the right thing to do is and actually doing it doesn't really make it easier to live with. I'd rather cause my children some heartache now then let them get mauled later.

sigh.

Megzy

Ten Years

2009-03-24T21:42:00.000-07:00

It's the funniest thing. When hubby boy and I got married ten years ago we were two innocent hopeful people. We were also on an extreme budget for our wedding, as in, if somebody didn't offer to do it for free or we couldn't do it ourselves then it just was not going to happen.

Everything came together at the very very last minute, and it worked out pretty well.

On the day of our wedding, I was sick, I had a bad cold and sounded very non-girlly, we were in a hurry, there was a billion people all over our house. It wasn't quite the day I had hoped it to be, there was no leisurely getting ready of all the girls together, no going and getting hair and nails done somewhere, no beautiful veil for my mom to pin on my head and get all emotional over...

and I looked at the video and laughed at the mess that I was by the end of the reception, hair every which way, makeup gone, dress torn from too many hugs and that silly hook that held up the back of my dress ripped out from too much dancing (I just tied the back of my dress together in a knot..I thought it was kind of haute couture weddingy), I was wearing red converse sneakers (that i still occasionally wear), oh, and I had braces... cute no?

No... not really.

But happy, I was really happy.

I had always thought that the my wedding day was going to be my happiest day ever.

Boy was I wrong! In a good way, a very good way. Now a whole decade later I can honestly say that it wasn't my happiest day ever, that day keeps changing. It was the day he came home from work and said he missed me, it was the day that we spent doing nothing but listening to the rain, it was the day we finally had a working air conditioner and turned it so low we were shivering in August, it was the day he gave his first public talk, the day we felt our first child kick, saw her face, held her, then saw her sister and fell in love all over again, it's been the first "i love you's" from little people, first steps, first talks, first time out in service as a family, so many firsts... :)

My happiest day is whatever day we're together, and falling asleep against his shoulder every night is my favorite luxury.

10 years later I still have never done the girl spa day, never had a facial, never just been fussed over and felt really gorgeous, but I'm still happy so it's ok.

But I must admit it's a bit of a let down that after 10 years of bad hair days and all that, and when I kept telling myself the fantasy in my mind that for our 10th anniversary I would get to do all the things I didn't do on my wedding day, and I would just knock him out with how stunning I was.. it was a let down to realize that it was just not going to happen.

Actually, the reality was better. We woke up to our little girls being coached by Nana to sing the "happy anniversary" song, and then we went and did family portraits.. my mom was great and took some neat ones of us, we went out to breakfast, and then went and did a few more photographs, and then gave out presents.

We had cake and noisemakers and had a great day, it was amazing that here it was so far removed from this fantasy day that I had built up for so long and yet it was just perfect.

The day after our anniversary the girls got a sleepover with their cousins, when I went to drop them off they had made a heartshaped really yummy lemon cake for us and bought me gorgeous necklaces from my favorite glass guy on Etsy. (He models all his necklaces on his dog, hey if the dog looks good in them I figure I have a shot!) ;)

We went out to dinner and talked and it was just really nice to be together.

10 years later, I'm still in shock. Where did the time go?

Time flies when you're having fun!!
I promise to blog more often... having a laptop should make that easier right?

well maybe.

:)
Love,

Megzy

Happy Anniversary....

2009-03-19T23:53:00.001-07:00

to us!
10 years ago today, well almost today since it's barely midnight now...
I married my best friend and love of my life.
It's been an amazing decade....
I've learned a lot about myself and how to love someone else.

I learned that if on day one he doesn't pick up his socks he won't do it 3,650 days later either.
I learned that I didn't love him as much as I thought I did on our wedding day, because with every year I love him more.
I learned that his heartbeat is my favorite lullaby.
I learned that seeing him fall in love with his newborn children was one of the most powerful feelings I've ever known.
I learned that no matter how old I get, sometimes I still just need to talk to my mom and dad.
I learned to hug those around us when we get the chance, dance with them now, because so many can be lost in just 10 years.
I learned that children can't fix any situation for others but they add a rich flavor to our lives that would be sadly missing without them.
I learned that you can't keep a turtle on a leash.
I learned that I am stronger and braver and funnier and smarter then I would have ever imagined.

I learned that I am enough.
and most importantly I learned that he is the love of my life and he is my best friend.... that at the end of the even the worst day we have one another and that there is no substitute for that.

:)
Don't worry.... pictures will follow soon. My mom is actually going to be taking our family portrait when it's actually morning. We don't have one with all of us in the photograph at the same time, so mom to the rescue!
I'm pretty sure I'll accidently do something that will mess it up but even though I'm one of the most unphotogenic, horribly unphotogenic, people I know, I am not boring, so that should count for something.
And there's always photoshop... now I just have to find a nice photograph of selma hayek or penelope cruz to swap heads with.. hmm..

;)
hehe..

goodnight, and good morning!
love,
Megzy

Pirates in my garden

2009-02-10T16:57:00.000-08:00

See ? Pirate in my garden.... and he brought a tractor/backhoe/toy thinggie!

Pirate brother-in-law vs. ugly spiky dangerously tall stupid desert plant in the yard...

Hubby has had enough of this messing around with the baby backhoe.. he's going to use his teeth.. yes he is just that studly!

Rippling muscles, machinery, and best of all, my garden getting cleaned out of winter yuck for me, does it get better then this on a Saturday afternoon? No I really don't think it does.

I've hated that spiky plant for a long time. He got one arm out of 3... two more to go, but I think it's a good start and it gives me hope that eventually this Seussian monstrosity will be gone.

Whohooo!!!

:)
that's all from around here, oh and it snowed today.. but I'll post about that LATER!

Promise.

love,

Megzy

Like a Laser ....

2009-02-04T08:12:00.001-08:00

.... We survived getting 4 cavities filled. Actually Heidi survived and Grace and I were really good nervous watchers lol.
Yesterday we discovered that we love our new dentist. Granted getting four cavities filled and her teeth recleaned and her crown adjusted cost us $300, that's with insurance mind you, ugh I know, but... there was no screaming, no real out of town travel, no overnight stays, no food and stuff that goes with overnight stays in other cities, there was no shots, no crying, no begging, no pleading... in my mind: Priceless.
I had a happy little girl who was so proud of herself for being "brave" and a good patient, we went and bought a reward toy/early anniversary presents and considered ourselves happy campers.
Her mouth felt great, no shots so no numb cheeks or tongue or anything, she didn't feel woozy or sick from pain killers and best of all, the teeth and that she didn't remember when they started hurting, didn't hurt anymore.
:)
All in all a good day.

In other news, hubby boy has a job still. Which is a huge relief.
I'm viewing it more as he has a job.. for now, since we don't know what will happen and if the whole mine closes it doesn't matter how good a worker he is, he just won't have a job. Period.
So I'm the grinch in the family that put the anniversary party plans on hold, said nyet to the travel plans that are just for fun which included saying not this time to the renaissance festival, so basically my whole family is not really all that happy with me.
sigh.

It's very hard to have to be the voice of reason.

I'm off to work in the garden today, and probably clean house too.
Much love,
Megzy

Scary and Sad

2009-01-30T20:30:00.000-08:00

This is an intersting time to live in our part of the world.

Major layoffs are coming and the cut list comes out on Monday. It's a scary time to live here. Everytime we run into each other we all size one another up, asking "are you staying?" "will you go?" "where will you go?"

This is the main conversation.

Already we've lost one family, the Griegos, and their son and their grandson... The Whites were having a moving sale this weekend, the Franklins think they're next to follow...

who will be left?

All we know is that we need to do our best. Take care of our families, take care of one another, pull together to get through this time. With half the residents of our community losing their job now, and more to come later, we all wonder what is next.

My children and I have upped our usual door to door ministry, trying to help some find a reason to hope, we've upped our work in our garden and yard trying to cultivate a little bit of hope for summer.

We're sad and so many are scared. You can almost taste the fear in the air in Morenci, this world is unraveling and changing and will never be the same.

But I see my children learning to help others, reaching out to make strangers feel better, trying to see what we can do to help those we meet and what we can do to help ourselves. They've been helping me pick photographs to sell, and they've been helping me get some flowerpots base coats painted so I can get new ones done quicker. My family is precious to me, and that includes my extended family. My heart aches for their worries and I wish we could do more for them.

also... tomorrow is a very very sad day in this area... Dairy Queen is closing!!!!

Sigh, the end of an era.

much love,

Megzy

I did not forget about my blog....

2009-01-02T11:41:00.001-08:00

... I just got sidetracked.

It's a new year and a new month, a new week and it's even a new day.... all this newness is impressive.

The past few days have been on par with a greek tragedy. Woke up yesterday to no water (pump at the well froze), no internet, so no coffee and no email! Fortunately we had some emergency bottled water put aside, whew. There was coffee at least.

Got the kids room pulled apart and well cleaned and organized. Listed on Etsy.

And then I smelled smoke... I looked outside and there was dear hubby boy being "helpful" and he burned a bunch of the plants I had put aside so they could drop their seeds in different parts of the garden then where they were last year. I made another cup of coffee, organized toy bins and tried not to think homicidal thoughts.

This morning.... we've had a whole string of things go wrong at random intervals and then...

I found out that i'm in a fairly awesome treasury!

Check it out... http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list_west.php?room_id=38130&show_panel=true

but now I have to run around like a chicken because my in-laws, yes my lovely in-laws, are picking today to drop by because they feel they must. Somehow they know that my children have already been in trouble, that there's unfolded laundry on every surface and the toys and stuff that threw up out the kids room when I organized it last night.

I'm never sure how they know this, but they just do. When my house is clean, my children are well behaved and we have proper guest snacks... they don't come over.

Argh.

:)
~ Megzy

oh wow

2008-11-30T20:43:00.000-08:00

I did it!!!

50,134 words!

My story isn't the least bit finished but I reached the quota and am now an official NaNoWriMo winner.

Come on people go nuts go crazy! I mean the kind of crazy nuts that happens in the control room of Nasa when something big happens, jump around, scream, cry, kiss the person next to you.

love,

Megzy... the novelist

Nano Saturday update

2008-11-29T21:26:00.000-08:00

44,651 ...
Oooo i just might do this! I might actually finish.

buoyed up with steak and good conversation after an afternoon and evening with Jana and family, I came home and typed like the wind.
:)

I might finish.
i just might.
and if i say it often enough i'll believe it and if i don't say it but i type it then i'll finish even faster!
:)

g'night,
love,
Megzy

Nano update

2008-11-29T02:26:00.000-08:00

3:30 am.

40,179 words!
Woohooo!! And i like how it's going, i have found my groove at the moment but since i can't see straight and can't spell... i'm calling it quits for this part of the day.
I have under 10,000 words to get today and I will have finished a day early!

:)

tired but happy i didn't quit,
love,
Megzy

I want to...

2008-11-28T19:46:00.000-08:00

... quit. I want to quit writing.
I don't care how close I am, I want to quit.
I want to go read a trashy novel in my bed, I want to surf the internet and work on my ebay store and my etsy stores. I actually want to clean my house.... seriously, shocking I know.

My tivo is filling up and is calling me...

I think I'll keep going because if I don't at least try to finish my NaNoWriMo novel I'll feel like a loser the rest of year right?
Right.

ok.
another cup of coffee and I'm going back to it.
Come on people cheer me on.
it's like the marathon runners, there were a lot of really fast finishers and the crowd was there for them. I'm chugging along, one of the last finishers, so will someone stay out to hand me a cup of water and cheer me along please?
:)
tired and disheartened,
megzy

Fifty-One

2008-11-28T09:01:00.000-08:00

Wow! This is my 51st post!
I should've celebrated the 50th but i didn't notice it so, Yay! 51!
:)

Today is the big push to finish my book. I like the story, i seriously question the grammar. Those of you who read this blog understand completely, I'm sure.
I do really like the story that is unfolding, it isn't quite the way I had originally planned but it's still kind of interesting.

It's a rainy drippy day and for once my children are content to play quietly with the playdough that we made with bisquick. That's right we made playdough with bisquick... it's kind of fun actually, but surprisingly not edible.

Back to work.
Is it cheating to go back through and have my characters develop word whiskers all of a sudden? Lots of ums and ers and all that? ;)

Have a great day!
Love,
Megzy

Nano Novel Update 1:30 am Thursday

2008-11-27T00:38:00.000-08:00

31,006 !!
Whew.
Progress. it's a beautiful thing.
and a quiet house and a good cup of coffee and listening to the rain hit the windowpane, all good things :)

I procrastinated in my own way earlier tonight, or i guess since it's 1 a.m. I should say "last night" but that just sounds weird.
Thought I would log into etsy and get some other work done, just for a minute or so, and then realized that the Treasury West treasuries were opening in 6 minutes.
I quickly looked around and started setting up a treasury in poster sketch and then snagged one when they opened.
Here it is, a lovely example of the art of procrastination at work:
http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list_west.php?room_id=34081

I'm going to get some sleep, at least I know I can get a few hours without messing up my writing schedule.
:)

g'night and g'day,
love,
Megzy

Nano Novel Update at Noon

2008-11-25T11:46:00.000-08:00

.... 26,120 words... more than half way done... now only 4 and a half days to finish the other 25,000 words.
ARGH.

but... whohoo!! Halfway done! :)

~ Megzy the tired

I've been Schmap'd !

2008-11-25T06:40:00.000-08:00

This morning I got a very nice message from Emma Williams, representing Schmap. She wanted to let me know that they have short-listed one of my photographs to use in the next guide to Phoenix, to be published in December 2008. Which is great, and they asked for the proper spelling of both my first and last name, always good, but I don't actually like the photograph that they chose.
Here it is. Possibly soon to be Schmap'd with my name underneath it properly spelled:

Check out current Schmaps for your area here:
http://www.schmap.com/

love,
Megzy

Nano Novel.

2008-11-24T22:35:00.000-08:00

.... 23,873 at 11:30 pm!
That's just about half way in fact if I didn't keep falling asleep over the keyboard and keep waking up worried that I might have accidentally drooled on hubby boy's laptop and shorted it out, I'd make it halfway tonight.
I am so proud to see the halfway mark in sight, and after great thought and sudden inspiration, I don't think I will kill off my characters at this exact moment. I know which direction they should take... maybe. I could just be tired and punchy but my ongoing novel is almost starting to make sense. :)

Now the big question is... does anybody want to read it?

Monday monday monday stupid monday

2008-11-24T11:34:00.000-08:00

See, I stick my tongue at the world and all i get is a dry fuzzy towel feeling on my tongue. Giraffes stick their tongues out at the world and they get happy giraffe kibble treats.
Not fair.
not fair at all.

i need chocolate....

Some mondays are more mondays then other mondays. These are Major Mondays, as compared to minor mondays, of course.
Today my novel is stuck at 19k. I see the laptop beckoning me, but alas and alack, I can't write.
I have a ton of extra laundry to do because I have at least one kid down with the flu, and 2 kids with really bad weepy whiney attitudes, for those of you keeping score at home I still only have 2 children.

My dog apparently decided last night not to bother me by waking me up to tell me he had to go out and pooped.. in my bedroom. He now has the nerve to be sitting outside making goo goo puppy eyes at me. I think I'll go close the curtains. HA! Take that you small bad but really cute dog!

i'm behind in work, and i miss knowing that my mom is at home and doing stuff together with my dad, i hate knowing my dad is by himself but I can't go spend time with him either and I can't wish my mom home sooner then she can get home because she has to stay and get everything settled and put right.

excuse me while i go make myself a pot of tea and put on a flannel shirt and snivel for a little while.
:)
I'll probably live.

this whiney moment was brought to you by Monday, and the letter W for Waaaaah!!
call the whambulance please.
;)

~ Megzy

Saturday

2008-11-22T23:45:00.000-08:00

It turns out that I love Saturdays.. It's usually a family day for us, a day to be together, they don't always go as planned but usually it's the break in the week that we needed.
This morning I heard the girls wake up, but I enjoyed pretending to be asleep a little longer and allowing darling boy to have the first sleepy hugs from our children.
wasn't that nice of me?

Is there anything better then knowing that a still sleepy scantily dressed man is in the kitchen making you a cup of coffee and while he's doing it he's singing Michael Buble's "your everything" song?? The only thing slightly better then that was when he came round the corner with a cup of coffee for me, he was no longer scantily clad, he had a pink Disney princess blanket wrapped around him in a toga style.... it was almost definitely the highlight of my day.

We met for service and made it to one door this morning. The girls were having a rough time and they were cold and cranky, so one door was it, and then the grocery store, and then home.

I learned today that when you try to make mashed sweet potatoes, that for some reason they are not an even orange color... they were a weird mix of greenish orange and orange orange, with little fibers sticking out because sweet potatoes are fiberous. It looked like I murdered a muppet and stuck them in a bowl, or a piece of shag carpeting, either way it didn't look that appetizing but tasted really good.

My nano novel is up to 19,000 words. I'm impressed.
i'm sure most of it is drivel, but still, since i've never written 19k words in a novel like format, this is kind of awesome.
:)
I'm not sure that I'm going to make it, but there are a few days to try and just throw caution to the wind and write with wild abandon.

Goodnight and good morning :)
love,
~ Megzy

Getting back to normal

2008-11-20T08:31:00.001-08:00

.... of course it would help if we knew what normal was.. ;)

I am trying to get back on track with my nano novel.... seriously thinking about making my characters call each other by their first, last, and middle names... and maybe they should randomly break into lengthy poems or songs. That should be good for 40,000 more words right?

I just feel like I have to keep trying to do this. I have to give it my best shot. It's something sage and I had talked about with grandpa and I don't want to just give up because I was unavoidably sidetracked the whole first half of this month.

I may not get the 50,000 winning number, but I might just come close. And if nothing else, I'm really enjoying writing my book. It's exciting, what are they going to say next? what is around that last corner? what did that sign really say?

And... if a few of them don't start working together a little better there's going to be at least one spectacular fall off a cliff.

Ooooo to be a writer is so powerful MUAHAHAHAH! ;)

hehe.

Did I mention it's also great to get rid of stress? ... of course I don't have stress, but I mean in case someone else has stress you should definitely pass that along.

Time to start school this morning. Life as a learning coach is fun too. And working on the ebay store, hope to work on the etsy store too.

Hope.

Have a great rest of your day,

Love,

Megzy

Two years five months

2008-11-19T21:45:00.000-08:00

It was two years and five months ago that my grandmother died, my grandfather would faithfully take flowers to her grave the 19th of every month... then since everyone was out and looking so nice, they'd go out to lunch. Today when I called my sister to tell her that movie we like was going to be on Hallmark channel this weekend, she was out to lunch at Endless Summer with what sounded like a noisy crowd of the women in our family.
I felt really alone and helpless here. I went with my grandfather to my grandmother's grave just once. I wasn't really there for him in any tangible way and that's something I'm going to have to live with.

I keep thinking about all the people that have helped us all get through these times. We all have our own support groups and it's comforting to realize that we belong to a global brotherhood and that my grieving family will all have the right people when they need them.
I wish there was a way to make it easier though.

I am back home and it's a wonderful feeling, my own bed, my own stuff... my house to take care of, schoolwork to organize for little ms. Heidi and fun stuff to do with Gracie. Our dog and our cat and even our turtle were all happy to see us.

I keep thinking of that scripture that a good friend is sticking closer then a brother in a time of distress. I know that this is true in our family's case.
Technically I have a brother. I do, he's a member of my dna and genetic makeup, as I am also a part of his. We have the same mom and the same dad. And he broke my heart this past week. No matter what mistakes he had made in his life, I had never given up on believing that the boy that i knew was still in there, that the little boy that I loved was just hiding behind this bravado and newfound interests, but that he was in there and he loved me and missed me and longed to get to know my children, and that one day things would come together and we would all be together again.
This is what I honestly believed.

I went to California, knowing that he would be there, knowing that he was bringing his girlfriend with him. I went to California secretly looking forward to being in the same room with my whole family again. I went to California wanting just to hold him, to hug him, to see him recognize his own logical reasonings and curiosity that I find in both my children.

Instead I found a surly man who glared at me, snubbed my children and could not bring himself to hold a conversation with me. Would not even give me a cordial handshake on his way out the door. I don't know when we'll meet again. My brother is lost to me.
I have forwarded him pictures of my children and things that I thought he would like... but I guess I was just annoying him because I can't think of anything else that I had done to provoke that kind of reaction in him. He was kind to my parents, he was huggy with my sister.... but for some mysterious reason he really really really really did not like me.

It was with this in mind that I came home. Being home would have been joy enough. But I came home to a clean house, happy bathed and well fed animals, and not only home made soup in a crockpot keeping warm for us but even the coffeemaker was set up and ready to go.
Etsy and Ebay sales had been taken care of by Jana and our house and animals were watched over by Dave and Tammy.

Maybe I have lost one actual genetically similar brother, but I have gained in my life more brothers then I could ever have wished for. While my brother has been pursuing his own interests my children have been watched over by adopted uncles. I have had brothers to tease and to joke and laugh with, to dance with at weddings. I have had brothers to talk to when I need to figure something out, to hug when I am sad and on occasion to carry me because I'm a terrible hiker. My life has been full of brothers, and I am truly grateful for them.
They are kind and loving and funny and tough and wise and smart and once in awhile a pain in the tuckus. But hey what are brothers for right?

I wish my brother the best. I wish my brother would make better decisions then the ones that he's making because I miss the kid that he was. The kid that he was had such a kind heart, it was my favorite part of his personality. I miss the kid that wrote the funny signs on my door "bewear of megans they depanses people"... I miss the kid with the curious mind and the ever ready laugh. I miss telling stories around the dinner table, I miss eating meposian. I miss him.
But maybe he's not even there for me to miss anymore.

I will have people who love me, My children will have people who love them.
but tonight I am sad for the family that I have lost over the years and for the loss of my brother with them.

~ megzy

coming home

2008-11-17T07:19:00.000-08:00

We're going home!
It was really really hard to say goodbye to my mother, my aunt, my uncle, and especially my sister... but yesterday we loaded up Betty our faithful mode of transport and headed east.
We got through all the fires without any trouble, the smoke was really ugly but not unbearable.
Stopped for breakfast in Fontana, ca. and then stopped for lunch outside of Blythe in arizona.

Last night we spent in phoenix and took the little girls to their first Imax movie. I thought hubby boy had lost his mind taking Grace to a 3d movie about ocean life when she would barely put her little cute toe in the ocean without freaking out.
She seemed to like it though and apart from a few squeals and jumping and going into her "ooo you scared me" routine, she was good.

Today hopefully will bring breakfast and at the end of the day my very own bed.

Yesterday hit home with all my family outside waving goodbye to us at an extremely early hour,and no grandpa. No little grandpa leaning on a cane and waving bye, getting teary because we're saying goodbye. It was so sad without him.
I miss him dearly.

heading home,
love,
Megzy

we're here

2008-11-10T13:22:00.000-08:00

Ta-da... we're here. No sorry no photographs as of yet, but soon my people, soon. Have patience.
The privileged few have already gotten blurry photographs of the ocean via cell phone, I'm sure they were quite thrilled at that honor.
:)

Grandpa's house is too quiet, and it's very very strange and alien feeling to walk in to this house that I've known all my life as "grandma and grandpa's" and there is neither Grandma nor Grandpa here.

My mom is here putting together photographs onto foam core boards for the funeral and after reception thinggie. She seems to be hanging in there. There is a formality with my family at the moment that I don't quite understand. It might the circumstances or the presence of others or just that it's like we're strangers in someone elses house at the moment.

My brother is here and his girlfriend. She seems extremely nice and is very pretty too. She was polite and made the little girls feel special by talking to them for awhile. My brother.... well... I guess i'll worry about that later. He seems like such a stranger, and although I wanted a hug or for him to be excited at seeing the little girls he barely gave them a hello then he was as he says "out".... strangers all around.

My sister, my dad, my aunts are all running errands. Mom is working here, I'm going to be working on the slideshow, and hubby boy and little girls are out to lunch with uncle larry. I think they will have a great time.
In my humble opinion, driving this time worked out much better for us then flying. The kids slept, ate, and had all their stuff. There was even schoolwork done this morning in the car, awesome.
The rest of our car ride here was rather uneventful. There was heavy traffic for awhile in hollywood but that's kind of to be expected. Hubby handled it well. I had planned on helping him drive but he wanted to do it himself, and he was nice about it, he's worried about me I think. He keeps giving me that look like he wants to make sure I'm ok before he asks me if I'm alright.

To be honest i don't know if i am. I'm tired and sad and scared to start crying because I don't know when I will stop. I guess this afternoon is the pre-viewing of the viewing... kind of yucky, they haven't asked me to go and I haven't offered. I'm just sitting in the corner with hubby's laptop and trying to figure out how to chronicle my grandfather's life the best way possible.

oh, and my nanowrimo novel is up to over 5,000 words, still behind where it should be but considering the circumstances I think it's not too shabby.
of course I have the characters breaking into random song and having to sing three or four verses at a time..... ;) just kidding.

much love,
megzy (hiding in a corner at grandpa's house)

Greetings from California!

2008-11-09T21:38:00.000-08:00

That's right... we have made it to California. It turned out to be a fairly nice little drive from Tucson.
The Special Assembly Day today in Tucson was pretty awesome. I was sad mom and dad were missing it but relieved to hear that a friend in their congregation is recording it for them. And Jana and her hubby were recording it too so they have a back up plan. Whew.

This morning I was feeling kind of cute with my new hair and 4" heels. (Yesterday I took the plunge and cut 11" off of my hair, pony tail no more.. now it's a rather cool wedge kind of bob. I like it a lot! Photographs to follow sometime soon) I was really nervous about the day though. We were even late to the assembly and while I rushed in two wild little girls to try and find seats before it started, I wondered if we should have even bothered to come.

Turns out, we definitely did the right thing by being there. There was a wonderful speaker from Brooklyn, br. George Algin. He's a great speaker and he's a "fun" bethelite, the kind that quotes modern literature and tv, equally at home with telling us stories about a volleyball game at bethel and explaining a few deep prophecies.
He was to the point and yet really warm and charming. He brought out some good points about being a minister that I hadn't really thought about before. It was interesting and really upbuilding, kind of the shot in the arm I needed to face the rest of the week.

After the assembly we ate at burger king, got the girls changed and headed out. Met up with a freakish storm as soon as we left Tucson, and I'm sure hubby boy had the same worry that I did that the storm would continue all the way out. The raindrops were huge and the wind was blowing, but it passed within 20 miles and by the time we left Phoenix we could see moonlight and stars...we listened to music and talked about the day, held hands and talked about life.. not bad for 4 hours right?

Our dearly beloved pet sitters sent me photographs of our quirky creatures who although they miss me look kind of happy to be spending time with their good friends.
:)
and I'm thrilled to know they're in good hands.

Tomorrow we must first hunt down our breakfast like true survivors and then we're off to Santa Barbara and my family.

G'night,
love,
Megzy

my mom is an orphan

2008-11-06T13:14:00.000-08:00

My mom is an orphan now, and that breaks my heart. My grandfather died yesterday morning. I want to run out and hold my mom and my sister and I want to scream and yell and be hysterical. I want to lash out and everyone and everything. I am so tired of losing those that I love. It's not fair.

My mom is an orphan and she had a daddy who loved her so very much. His whole face would light up when she walked in the door.

My sister is alone right now in the strange and occasionally cruel world of California. I don't know where she goes from here but I know I'll be here for her and help her no matter what she chooses to do.

I don't honestly know what to say. I know that I loved my grandfather, I thought of him as a good friend not only to me but to my children too. He is such a part of all my memories.

The past two years my sister and I had really kept in touch with cellphones and email and I'm so going to miss the happy little song from my phone and that small thrill knowing that when I downloaded the message it was going to be a photograph of the two of them, or of how they had dressed her dog for the day.

I want to be hysterical. I want to sob until I puke. I wish we were a culture that could keen for our loved ones. Instead I'm going to keep getting stuff done because feeling sorry for myself won't help anyone. I am going to put together the best slideshow ever for grandpa's funeral. I'm going to listen to memories and I'm going to remember my own. I am going to get my family ready to go because I have to be in one piece to really listen at the assembly on Sunday. I have to be tough for my kids and organized and calm for my hubby. This is all I can do for them. I can't cushion the blow when they want to send a funny face picture to grandpa and suddenly remember he's not there, I can't laugh with my husband over John Wayne or Dodger tribute cheesy memorabalia and say we need to buy it for grandpa, because he really would love it.

Sage and I are organizing photographs of Grandpa, see the combined efforts here:

http://flickr.com/groups/909383@N20/

love,

Megzy

Here's a video by my sister, Sage, from one of their Dodger parties, I found it when I was editing photographs to upload to make the slideshow. I'm so glad I found it.

Sage.... Meet Elvis, Elvis this is Sage

2008-11-01T01:47:00.001-07:00

sleeves only sad to say, the albums would've been awesome... but isn't he pretty?

I actually squee'd like a girl and jumped around at the um "estate sale" that I found these at... then I gathered up what was left of my dignity and casually said "um now much for the records?"....

it was a thrill.

it was amazing.

he's still the king.

uh huh yeah baby...

now get me a banana something sandwich! :)

Can You Hear It?

2008-10-31T21:54:00.000-07:00

The steady tick tock count down and the rising hum of excitement as the clocks move ahead to the start of the month of NANOWRIMO ! Can you hear the computers turning on? The brains suddenly panicking.... Plot?? I needed a plot?? umm...

hmm..

anyone got an extra plot?

;)

I'm working on it people.

I'm a little distracted at the moment though. I've had a killer headache all day, just can't shake it. Rather it was last night sleeping on a new mattress, which isn't really a brand new mattress but is a long story which will involve me being extremely cranky with my mother-in-law for being bossy and presumptive yet again, but then I will end with guilt and gratitude because heck, we needed a new bed and who am I to be so picky to want to like go out and pick out something brand new ?

And my grandfather is failing. He's been in hospice care for a few months. The worst part is that my mother, sister, and aunts, do not agree on his care. That's an extra level of stress for those of us who are not there with them. Who don't quite understand every bit of every situation that they face every moment of every day. But I'm doing my best. My dad and I talked on the phone a few times today and we have a plan in place for racing to California, not actually racing in seperate cars which might be fun, but a car trip with small children, husband, and possibly a friend.... maybe not quite as fun as a bi-state car race but I bet it will make a few memories.

And..... I found Elvis and the Beatles and The Rolling Stones at a yard sale.... records people, records!!! Well the record sleeves anyways lol. I think they're awesomely cool nonetheless. The vinyl records themselves are not in good playing condition, they're scratched and maimed and I think they're going to be some artists' dream come true.... at least momentarily, those are going up tonight in our Etsy supply store, check it out at http://neatoincognito.etsy.com

2 hours until this year's Nanowrimo... are you ready?

am I?

~ Megzy

Exotic?

2008-10-26T16:16:00.001-07:00

Now granted each and every one of us has a different view on what is exotic, especially when it comes to food.

However, my entire in-law family, with the exception of my favorite nephew and his friend.. found this mini pecan/chocolate/bourban pie just a bit too.... exotic.

"too sweet" "too sticky" "have you tried making those cherry cheesecake box mixes? those are pretty easy" ....

there was a long pause while I went home to get my kids sweaters and to bash my head into a wall for awhile until the urge to scream and have a moment like the "oh a bee" scene in Ever After had passed.

I was well behaved and a good guest, and for the most part I had a really nice time. I spent some quality time with my nephew who is trying to afford a truck so we're going to be putting up some of his stuff on Ebay and hopefully he'll get a little closer to his goal. :)

Today has been surprisingly nice. The kids were fairly well behaved at the meeting, and well groomed, they let me brush their hair, so the ever popular Princess Leia updo was featured on one and demure ballerina bun on the other. Oh so adorable.

I went out to lunch with my sister and her family and our cousin and her family, we were a jovial bunch which was good because it took soooooooo very long to get our food. By the time it had come our children had already eaten their combined body weight in chips and illicit selections from the salad bar. Sigh. I guess that's the beauty of to go boxes right?

My nephew was waiting for me to do his Ebay photographs when I got home. He had friends helping him haul it all over, so it was funny for me to be doing Ebay photographs in the middle of my living room surrounded by a gaggle of gangly teenaged boys who thought what I was doing was fascinating.

Coffee calls my name, and maybe one of my rejected mini pies too.. it was really sad when they put them in a garbage bag for me to carry home again.

sigh.

~ Megzy

A New Adventure Commences....

2008-10-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

... November 1st!

What is this grand adventure you might ask? Well it's this:

the NaNoWriMo! What is the NaNoWriMo?

Check out this link:

http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/whatisnano

I found this link this afternoon kind of by accident, then I shared it with Sage and we really loved the writing style of the explanation of what is NaNo. We decided to do it, because whoever wrote the intro was clearly crazy and just our kind of person and so we must join, it would be inconceivable not to.

We're going to go for it.

We feel brave! We feel smart! We feel creative!!

Dawny is definitely considering joining us, which makes for 3 of us girls... anyone care to join us??

Come on, become a novelist in 30 days!

and in completely unrelated news, my mother-in-law apologized for any bad behavior on her part, it was a very nonspecific kind of apology but it was sweet and made me feel a lot better.
Then she asked me to bring something "exotic" to family cookout/dinner on Saturday. ... um, exotic? Me?

any ideas people?

October is THE month !

2008-10-23T09:58:00.000-07:00

Apparently October really is THE month that stuff happens. I've heard of this phenomenon but now I know it's true.

You see I'm actually looking at the bottom of the ironing basket.. no I didn't just empty out the ironing somewhere, it is really honestly empty. I ironed my way right to the bottom. Wow....

now I'm not quite admitting that it has been a really long time since that happened but I do know an almost 5 year old who was disappointed that a bunch of little dresses from the bottom of the basket were size 2t. Oops.

;)

Also in almost entirely unrelated relative news... awhile back I "introduced" you all to my dad, who doesn't read my blog so I can talk about him here. :)

My dad, who I've always thought was kind of cool, has done something pretty amazing. He signed up to be a Regular Pioneer, for those of you who read this blog and have no idea what I'm talking about, the short version is he just agreed to spend 700 hours a year, from September to September, in a volunteer bible teaching work. Neat right? Yep, he has joined my mom who was already a Regular Pioneer and now they're pioneer partners. I'm proud of them, I'm awed by them, but I might be just a little biased.

Here is a sort of current artistic self-portrait of the dad and I:

If you shake your head a little from side to side I'm sure you'll be able to see us quite clearly... it is meant to be artistic you know.

And.... my kids are really funny lately.

Heidi who is the blonder of the two, announced yesterday that she couldn't get the air pressure thing to work to find out what the air pressure was in her head... finally I found out what she was trying to use to check her "air pressure" ... a digital ear thermometer. I had to giggle in a very un-mom like way though that the blondier child wanted to check the air in her head. hehe.

Grace announced yesterday she was running away and going to live in the yard. She was really really angry because I told her she can't kick her sister and can't kick me either. I'm just mean like that. So she put her favorite Dodger's t-shirt and a pair of leggings over her arm, changed into a little orange floral mini skirt and matching t-shirt, pulled on her galoshes and asked me to please unlock the door so she could run away and live in the yard. I asked her the obvious questions, where would she sleep? what would she eat? ... and where would she go potty???

She stopped and thought it over and decided to move into the laundry room instead, until she saw, oh horror of horrors... dirty underwear in the hamper where she had planned to move all her toys into.

After that and a close encounter with a tiny spiderweb.... she has decided to move back "home" to her own bed. But she would still like us to please knock before we get close to her bed, because it's her house.

so there.

hmph.

She was so funny standing there perfectly angry and sincere in her plan to move out to the yard.

I was proud of myself for reasoning with her out of her plan and not just saying she couldn't because I said no.

I got good mom points. I would've made them brownie points but I'm trying to fit into new winter clothes. sigh.

~ Love,

Megzy

Fabulous Friday

2008-10-17T17:36:00.000-07:00

.... ack it's fall and I actually was Fall Cleaning.. of course I guess it could sort of be called really late Spring Cleaning. :)
Have a great weekend! We have a company picnic tomorrow and I might just have to photograph three all finished and brand new flowerpots... Whohoo I accomplished something, which is always good.
affectionately,
Megzy

... And Suddenly

2008-10-15T19:50:00.001-07:00

.... I'm working again.

I didn't mean to. I didn't feel like it. I had other things to do... I had stuff, you know fun stuff like cleaning out closets and finding winter clothes and the extra blankets.

But... I came home from Tucson with new paintbrushes, not a new set, just a few choice brushes that had known other artists, that had created other pieces of art.. I know not what, but they had.

I was cleaning up a desktop, found a tube of paint,,.... dabbed out just a little to see how the new paintbrush felt, then wanted to see how the other ones felt, and there you have it. New flowerpots in progress and a million ideas in my head.

Wow! What a rush!!

Maybe work is what I need right now to try to recover from this deep loss of Doreen in our lives, maybe work is a way to hide. I don't have to be well dressed or do my hair particularly well, I don't have to bother with makeup or plans, I just have to stick up my hair, put on painting clothes and get to work.

Either way, expect new stuff in my Etsy store by Saturday! (that's http://megzytred.etsy.com/ , by the way) ;)

... um, maybe. Hey, I didn't say which Saturday!

I have also come to the conclusion that I am really really glad that I am politically neutral. Everytime I turn around there's another fake smiling face shoving political messages and "I approve this message" commercials. There's debates taking over tv shows, and ruining my flow of creativity I might add, and there's posters and signs taking over the sides of the roads, stores and houses. All the while so many messages are being shoved everywhere, there's even a whole channel on my satellite supporting one canidate for president.

There's so many of these pie in the sky no way that's a lie promises out there, and the dirt slinging and bickering is starting to make me crazy. If I was a registered voter, if I had been someone who had voted previously and had planned to vote again, I think I would sit this one out.
I have to deal with enough bickering and she said this and he said that from my children and their cousins, having to sort out the "grown ups" is a little too aggravating. I figure that they will all say whatever they want to get elected anyways and in the end they will do whatever they want, putting promises and pledges aside and they will rightly blame circumstances and things that were beyond their control for their failures, So does it really matter who they vote for?

I'm glad I have Tivo and Netflix and dvds.... maybe I can hide just long enough for this campaigning to be over, of course by then Christmas will have started and I'll just have to hide all over again!

sigh.

:)
Quick someone mail me boxed sets of tv shows!

~ Love,

Megzy

It's Sunday

2008-10-12T21:44:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday night and although I don't want it to, life has continued past last Saturday.

It's an amazing thing isn't it?

In the past week my dear friend Lori and her husband Jereme welcomed a new daughter, Abigail Karen,

She's adorable and I can't wait to snuggle her in person, and her big brother isn't bad either! He's darling and hubby boy and I love him truly.

Doreen's memorial services were yesterday afternoon. It was a blustery windy rainy cold day and we were thrilled and relieved that so many came from out of town to celebrate and remember her life with us.
The service itself was a short talk given by a close friend of Rhodom and Doreen's who had known them since they were a very young married couple. I thought I was done crying for the day, but nope I started then and then completely lost it complete with that weird gulping sound and snot. Lovely I'm sure. I snuck off to the bathroom and Grace followed me to see if I was ok. She's not handling things as well as her sister is, she's less open about her grief and I think she feels the loss of her adopted grandma deeply. She's normally really sunny and content, but she's been very very angry and screaming and yelling and saying nasty things. I finally bundled her up in her towel after her bath tonight and I told her that it's ok to be angry that we lost Doreen in our lives, and it's ok to miss her, but that we have to remember to be kind because Doreen was very kind and would want that from us. And we have to go help take care of Rhodom because in the new order Doreen is going to ask us if we took good care of him and we have to be able to say we did.
She was a little more peaceful after that and Heidi was a bit out of character herself and offered to read her a story. So they snuggled up in Grace's bed and Heidi patiently read to her.

I took that sweet little scene and enjoyed it entirely knowing that it will not last.

Also I took two small packets of stress relieving bath tea that I got from Paradise Potpourri, and a good book and headed off for a bath. I'm not sure if it was the scotch or the bath tea but I'm feeling definitely more relaxed, so something is working. :)
The bath tea is heavenly, get some here : http://paradisepotpourri.etsy.com

While I was tubbing, hubby boy proved once again why he is the superman that I think he is, and uploaded the slideshow I had made for Doreen's family to show at the dinner after her memorial. You can see it yourself here: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1865133/doreen/

This week will be difficult on all of us and my heart goes out to Doreen's sons and families but especially for Rhodom because this will be the first week alone. No out of town family, no memorial to be hunting up photographs and making handouts for.... just alone.
It breaks my heart and I hope we can help him at least a little. I wasn't just saying that for Grace's tiny heart's sake... we really do need to take care of him because Doreen would want us to, and we love him too.

I'm eager to get back to work, and anxious to paint new flowerpots and try some new things.
Heidi's k12 schoolbooks and computer and printer all came over the past few days and so we unpacked and set up tonight. Life will continue and it will be good, but for right now, it still hurts.

~ Love,
Megzy

Tuesday

2008-10-07T16:28:00.001-07:00

We Lost....

2008-10-05T21:47:00.000-07:00

.... Doreen.

In Memory Of...

2008-09-24T14:00:00.000-07:00

(from left to right, Stevie, Nicole, Me, Sage, Levi) (from left to right : Nicole, Levi, Me, Hubby boy, Stevie, Sage, Levi's dad, and two other people)
Levi and Stevie playing with bubbles at my wedding

blurry but I still like this picture
My sister Sage and Stevie being silly at Hubby Boy's and my wedding shower

.... today I got the phone call that a dearly beloved friend of mine had passed away. Stevie Arrellanes is so much a part of so many happy memories that I simply cannot picture a world without his smile lighting up a room, without his sense of humor, without his cuddly little peanut headed self.

So many of these memories are tied up with great memories of my baby brother too, that I am doubly sad at the moment.

I haven't updated this blog in awhile and although I have lots to share, this moment, this day, is for remembering golden afternoons with our group at a picnic on the beach, being the human Nike swoosh, hikes to nowhere in the middle of the night, red converse sneakers at my wedding, purple sneakers at Levi and Nicole's wedding, watching Bobby sleep, ROCO's, basketball, barbeques, hugs and lots of laughter....

my heart so aches for Stevie's beloved wife and for our little group that will never quite be the same since we can't be all together for now.

Hug your loved ones, say goodnight, say I love you as often as possible.

~ Megzy

This Vacation Stuff...

2008-09-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

... is definitely hard work!

But so far it's been fun.

Going home tomorrow. To tell the truth I'm kind of happy to. I've had a great few days, but I'm craving my own bed, my own computer, and tap water that doesn't taste like pool water.

Yesterday, Saturday, was amazing. Yes it got off to a slow start but no sooner had I blogged and ranted and complained about the slowness of it all then my parents showed up and then my younger and ridiculously good looking sister and our friends, Levi and Nicole, all showed up. Wow that was a lot of people in our little hotel room, um, er, I mean suite. Still a lot of people.

We went to the Phoenix Sign Language congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses to see Levi give a talk. It was amazing. I was impressed with this man that I've known just about all my life.

I mean what's the number one fear most people have? Public speaking right? Right. Now what if you have to give a public talk, bible based, based on an outline and limited to 30 minutes.... and you can't give it in our native language. In fact you can't speak, you must rely on your knowledge of American Sign Language and your own facial expressions and body language to get your point across and to do it in a way that will touch your listener's hearts and encourage them to reason further on the points that you've made...... sounds like a challenge right?

Well if that's not challenging enough, not only does that talk have to be ready to go and already practiced and timed, but then you have to drive from Goleta, California,... yep home to this year's Gap fire, to Phoenix, Arizona...and then give the talk.

wow right?

exactly.

I video taped parts of his talk, and how that congregation works looking up the scriptures in such a way that everyone can follow along at the same pace, and how they sing without hearing words... in fact they sing without music being played at all. It was beautiful to watch and humbling.

To answer during the Watchtower study, you have to be ready because you can't just mumble a one word answer into the microphone and pass it on, you have to be sitting in your chair very ready to stand up because the cameras in the ceiling will focus on you and show your answer on the big screen in front so all the other people at the kingdom hall can see your answer even if they can't see you from their chairs.... very very neat how that all works.

The videos I made of Levi's talk and some of the singing and some of the watchtower commenting are on my flickr page, see the link over there on the left..... click on that. :) if you're just wandering through my sets in my flickr page I put them in Sept 2008 . You know since it's September and 2008. I'm just organized like that.

And once meeting was over and we were leaving to go hunt down food in the big city, we met up with some of my sister's friends from Tucson, and went to P.F. Chang's by fashion square. It was really nice. Our waiter, although wearing mascara, ... and he did have lovely eyes, so go figure, took great care of our large and jovial group. The little girls were fairly well behaved and no tantrums were had, no food was thrown, and no drinks were dropped... which makes any foray into public dining a success from my point of view.

Outside the restaurant there is a sculpture of 3 doors, 3 huge doors all set on their axis points making a tipi of sorts as they lean together at the top. Maybe we wouldn't have gone into it at all if we hadn't had to walk a ways from where we parked, but we're curious people so we walked into the door sculpture, turns out that was an amazing thing to do! They were lined in glass so inside seems infinite as our reflections continued to reflect again and again and there was an audio portion too that changed depending on how many people came and went from the inside part. Pretty cool! After dinner when it was dark we went back and the inside had little star like lights inside, very very pretty.

Last night I got to have a sleep over with my daughters and my sister, it was wonderful. It was such fun to have my sister to ourselves, no parents, no grandparents or aunts or uncles or friends... just us. We played and did hair, and gave out presents and had a mini dodger gear fashion show and we talked and looked up stuff online and looked at stuff on her ipod too.

So that was our day... how was yours?

today was just as long but has more photographs to be included so you're just going to have to wait... but let me whet your appeitite with this little gem, a goat fell in love with my sister, in fact he worshipped the very ground she stood on.....

g'night,

~ Megzy

Up Up and Away....

2008-09-06T11:42:00.000-07:00

Well we're away anyways, I'm not sure how "up" we are...
It seems that although I love my hubby boy to death that we differ on how to have a good time while on Vacation.
That's right that's Vacation with a capitalization... I would call it a "trip".... he's calling it Vacation.
sigh.

Hotel is ok, not bad, fast internet connection, free breakfast, good coffee and an indoor pool.... not sure what else I could ask for.

Today we started off the morning by having a fully dressed 6 year old standing over my head asking when was I going to get up so we could go get breakfast? So we got up and dressed and headed out to find breakfast... we ate breakfast and watched CNN and felt informed about the world.
Then coffee cups in hand we headed out to explore our area.
We ended up in old town Scottsdale. It was nice actually. It's the kind of area I could happily wander through slowly and preferrably when shops are actually open instead of super early on a Saturday morning.

I had to chuckle a little when I found 3 other photographers with their clients posing nicely around fountains, in a very tiny alley way and on a vintage motorcycle.
It was kind of reasurring to see that my cameras and hardware measured up to these "big city professional" photographers.
Maybe I can make it after all. :)

Now we're sitting in the hotel room, I'm antsy to go do something, hubby boy just hanging the chicklets watching sponge bob.
ahhh the life right?
yeah right.

My sister and our dear friends should be getting into town any moment and we're soooo excited to see them!
Photographs to follow of course!
:)

Have a great rest of your Saturday,
love,
Megzy

Argh!

2008-08-28T13:01:00.001-07:00

People, meet my Dad.... Dad meet the people. Actually that's just a theoretical meeting since my dad doesn't read my blog.. sniff sniff, sigh. But here in this particular treasury we shall call him "Sparrowhawk" :) Why am I introducing you to my dad? Well, read on dear reader, read on....

Have you ever had one of those days, you know one of those days where you're kind of scared to ask what happens next. Yes that kind of day.

Yesterday I had a rough day, my oldest daughter had a nasty looking bug bite so we went to urgent care, fortunately our younger daughter had somewhere to go so she didn't have to come with us. I had to stop and get tires filled that weren't supposed to be flat, but were. I picked up my new glasses, tres chic if I do say so myself ;) , and I got to pick up my sick niece from school and she was looking definitely miserable, poor baby. Most of the day was fine, it was just worrisome to have a little one who was so sick from a bug bite, seems like I should wrap a mosquito net around her at all times... she's on antibiotics for a week, and rest. And I was frustrated with the tire issues, and having to carry a heavy sick 6 year old down the block to go feed her and kill an hour while waiting for the tire was not really much fun..

My sister got that t-shirt that my dad is wearing, it says "To Err is human, To ARRR is Pirate!"

Yesterday got much better after I ARRRRR'd and ARRRRGH'd just a little.

National Speak Like a Pirate Day is September 19th, that's right, a legal and viable excuse to Argh at everyone! And it may be a good idea to start throwing a bit of Pirate terminology into your daily speech now just to be ready for a whole day, 24 hours of speaking like a pirate!!

Do your timbers shiver at the thought?

;)

I made a treasury this morning that is quite piratey and full of pirate goodness : http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list_west.php?room_id=23528

I was busy last night while trying to keep an eye on the sleeping Heidi, fever down - check, swelling down - check, redness fading - check.... whew.

I stayed up as long as I could and listed new items in my Etsy photography store :

http://megzyphotographs.etsy.com/

That's all the pirate flavored news around here today,

now who's got the Rum? ;)

~ Megzy

My Personal Olympics

2008-08-25T22:14:00.000-07:00

Sigh. The Olympics are over.... no more happy little theme song or victory moments, no more touching little stories and thousandth of a second photo finishes... Now what will I do?

I mean besides eat, sleep, work, mother children, and all that.. ?

I have been thinking about what the athletes do, I mean all that's amazing. But what if there was an Olympics of The Everyday Events ? What if we could pick out something that we individually excell at, something special that maybe nobody else appreciates... What would you pick as your medal earning sport?

If badminton and trampolining are olympic sports that rank alongside the marathoners and gymnasts, then why can't we add in a few everyday type heroic feats?

Personally I think that there are few skills that would make great olympic sports, like carrying a sleeping child to their bed and stepping on a hidden lego and never making a sound.

I think everyday deserves a gold medal in something. I am giving myself one for being a more positive person, a stronger person then I have ever been before in my life. That no matter what another person says or does, I am only responsible for my own attitude, my own reaction and my own life. That I don't have to follow when someone leads a conversation towards something negative, I can play a game and find a positive lining to almost any cloud. When I do that, I am proud of myself. I feel like I have conquered a balance beam that is no wider then the sole of my foot.

I think it's giving me more strength to market myself as an artist, to put my photographs out there, the bits of myself that I am never quite sure of. My photography store on Etsy is getting pretty full, my flickr account is getting new and better folders...

<---- psst links are over there in case you're interested in looking over all my hard work ;)

I'm doing ok.

How are you?

Where would you earn your gold medal ?

:)
~ Megzy

Playing with cheaters

2008-08-23T21:44:00.000-07:00

:) My parents came to visit just a few days ago. While always a little stressful getting ready for them to come, this time around they stayed a little longer then they had to. They stayed a little longer then they had originally planned to, and it was pretty great!

They had originally planned just to come and bring us the car we bought from them and swap that out with hubby boy's beloved almost antique and super fuel efficient work car. I think they had originally planned to leave as soon as possible Friday morning.

Instead, we went out to breakfast... and took the new car cruising. :) It's almost too fun to drive!

After breakfast I took dad to go hunt down his favorite canned green chilis, found them at a locally owned very small produce stand. Freshly canned and ready to go, Dad filled up a few grocery bags with his treasured chilis!!

When we got back to our house I was prepared for them to throw their stuff in the car and take off, so when our daughter Heidi asked for them to stay and play Monopoly with her, I was busy trying to quickly come up with something to tell her to help heal the heartbreak that would surely follow.

But to my surprise, they said yes to playing, and we had a great time.

Of course it took me almost the whole game to figure out that Dad had been cheating from the beginning! No wonder I never won when we played Monopoly growing up!

And as I was slowly beat out of the game I realized why my brother and sister used to pound the other little pieces on the head with their piece as they hopped past it.

It was wonderful to watch my parents play. To see them banter and laugh and cheat and try to make deals. It was just a lot of fun.

They stayed so long that darling Hubby boy got the chance to say goodbye to his car after all. His car didn't take it so well, immediately it decided to die and refused to start. He had to show it some tough love and recharge the battery and send it off into the wild blue yonder. I was strangely nostalgic... maybe it was the fast paced almost violent monopoly game, maybe it was the fact that hubby boy had that car since before we were dating and I had fond memories of seeing that car zip up my parent's driveway when he would come to see me.... It's strange how we get attached to objects though isn't it?

I think I can get to love the new car, it's very nice and just about luxurious in comparison to past cars I've owned... I mean it's all one color... all the windows and doors work, the trunk opens, the seats have fabric and not beach towels covering them... it's kind of awesome. I'll like this car, but I'll never love it like I loved my very first VW Bug, ah Bernie, I miss you so! :)

So here's to nostalgia and silly times and parents who remember how to play and everything that can make me smile like a fool on a Saturday night!

G'night all,

have a lovely Sunday! We're off in the morning so hubby boy can give the sunday talk at the Kingdom Hall in Safford, Arizona.... we're going to watch and hopefully the three of us can be non distracting and on our very best behavior. ;)

~ Megzy

Fall Rebellion

2008-08-19T18:03:00.000-07:00

That's right, I'm rebelling against Fall.. it's not time yet! Everywhere I look there are signs promoting the coming of Fall, Back-to-School.... and I'm just not ready!

Forget it, it's not Fall, not even close. Here in Arizona we have at least a month left of summer, then there's semi-summer and then finally in October.... ta-da Fall!

But not quite yet.

This morning I "met" a lovely woman whose totally delicious sounding scrub I had added to that treasury. She was so happy to be in the treasury that she's sending me a sample! Whohoo!!
I'm so excited about that!

Seriously after days of taking care of little Grace the phlegm-bot, who has yet to actually start a fever or anything else besides grungy sounding cough.... a summer scented scrub that promises to be "sexy" seems almost too good to be true. :)

Anyways her name is Silvana, and her store is : http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5917682

Check out her excellent spot in our posting and all the other wonderful Etsians who aren't quite ready for summer to be over either : http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list.php?room_id=2510

I'm going to fix some more tea and start getting ready for tomorrow. Errands to run and eye doctor appointments for me and Ms. Heidi... she's hoping for Hannah Montana frames ! And in one short decade, she'll be driving! Oh horrors!

G'night all, sweet dreams,

~ Megzy

Just a Doorknob??

2008-08-18T07:57:00.000-07:00

Or is it a piece of artwork? Sculpture?
Whatever it is... it's getting kind of popular.
Two different treasuries! Whohoo!! Check them out here:
http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list_west.php?room_id=22345

and here:
http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list.php?room_id=2154

And this treasury I had a lot of fun making:
http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list_west.php?room_id=22157

Also I must admit that right now when I was picking up the links from the treasuries to post here I noticed that the treasuries just opened.. just opened! Sigh.
Oh! Hey my brilliant sister just logged in for me and now we're making a Volkswagon treasury...
.... Check it out here: http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list_west.php?room_id=22460

so now I must say,
"That's All Volks!"
Have a great day, be creative, be spontaneous, be happy!!

Real Heroes

2008-08-13T10:21:00.000-07:00

In this general feeling of Olympic fever when we as humans look at each other in a whole new light, I am forced to ask myself.... What makes a hero? I am genuinely impressed by the few who can do the amazing but I have to wonder, is it really the extraordinarily gifted person with a one in a million type talent or is it the everyday average person who rises above their corrupt dna and becomes amazing?

I think a hero is rather like my photograph above ... someone whose heart is a little battered but keeps going anyways. And I think a hero can be the person who makes you cheer whether that's Michael Phelps, your Mom, your Teacher, your Sister, or your Friend.

While thinking this over I got the chance to make a treasury today,

here's the link, let me know what you think!

http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list_west.php?room_id=21907

This past week has been a little weird for me. I've been sick. I hate to admit it but I was 'drive myself to the doctor dragging two children along, take all my medicine, stay in bed' kind of sick.

I've been grateful to my personal heroes who called, texted, convo'd, emailed and even sent me a can of ravioli, which can fix anything you know.

I'm finally starting to feel more like myself, I'm trying to slowly ease back into work and trying to remember I'm only the Mightymouse kind of hero and simply can't get it all done in just a few days!

I've added a few more photographs to my Etsy store: http://megzyphotographs.etsy.com/

and I've been accepted as a member of POE, that's Photographers of Etsy baby! Ok I don't think the baby part is actually a part of their official slogan, but I kind of like it ;)

You can find other POE type people by searching the tag "Poe Team" in Etsy. :)

Hope all is well with you all,

Heroically Yours,

Megzy

I Won!

2008-08-05T08:26:00.000-07:00

What did I win you might be asking? Well... I won a Cookie Comment Contest on Sage 'n Spice's awesomely fascinating and really well-written blog!

Are you impressed? So were we! What did we win? Cookies of course! Here they are when we got them:

Here they are after a few minutes in our house! Yummy!! Good thing we had milk, whew! ;)

Would you like to be a future winner? I know you would, these cookies were awesome! Check out her "sweet" blog, see the link over there?

<------ Sage's blog, it's a good one!

Now go make it a great day,

~ Megzy

Summer's Love Charm

2008-07-30T07:31:00.001-07:00

It's that time of year again.... the rain has stopped. The sun is out.... the sky is the perfect shade of cerrulean blue that just can't be duplicated in paint or photograph. The hills and every available of earth is covered with a thin layer of green plants.... the wildflowers have decided to have another spring. As the cows and horses graze near the river, once again the land has woven it's spell around me.

It's this time of the year that I fall in love with living here all over again. The peaceful evenings with the cotton candy pink sunset. The fresh breeze that has just a hint of moisture, the richness of the ground that breathes at night.

And it's the time of year that my husband brings me home presents. It might be an antique bottle he dug up somewhere, a fancy rock he found, or ... it just might be a baby hornytoad.

This little guy sealed the deal for me, my thoughts of "let's just pack up and try somewhere else"... have faded once again along with the worst of the summer monsoons.

Love this photograph? So do I! It's for sale as just the photo file, hey it's Free Shipping!, check out my Etsy store: http://megzyphotographs.etsy.com

Enjoy your day,

:)
Megzy

We Treasury Yet AGAIN !

2008-07-28T19:21:00.000-07:00

So it's Monday... but it's a great Monday! First of all, I woke up this morning, which is an excellent way to start any day, and I had coffee... always good.

Then I realized that on Etsy, Treasury West should be all done getting "served" with a new faster snazzier way cooler server. And it was.. and there were no treasuries made yet! So I pounced on the chance to make another treasury!

I had a great time picking out lovely colors and patterns, and this time I ended up with a Sage Green and Lavender kind of palette with punches of pink and aqua thrown in.

I think it's beautiful, what do you think? : http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list_west.php?room_id=20190

And since I didn't want to do this alone.... I called Jana and kind of talked her into grabbing a treasury while they were still easy to grab! Here's her cute and rather Blingy treasury: http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list_west.php?room_id=20222

I am realizing that it's not just the creative process that I like, but that i honestly respect and admire the creative process in others. I enjoy looking at the art work that others can create, and what textures and colors they come up with. The hands that make beautiful things are fascinating to me too! Here's a photograph that shows 4 photographs that will soon be for sale in my Etsy store: http://megzyphotographs.etsy.com , these 4 are part of a series of 12. They're all artists' hands and most of them have at least something that they have created with them too.

I can't wait to see what else is out there and how others see the world around us! For me it is an honor to be able to watch what is made with imperfect hands in this nasty, wicked, ugly world. If artists can do this now, I wonder what else will be created when the earth is a paradise new world?

Make it a good rest of your Monday,

Megzy

I Treasury This Moment!

2008-07-24T22:07:00.000-07:00

Today I made this! It's pretty awesome yes? Yes! I had to include some of my favorites of course, and Jana helped me via phone to browse her favorites list too, I'm so glad she did because the little heart bowls fit in so well!! I never would've even tried to make a treasury though until I saw Jana make one the other day, hers so rocks! And she emailed me and told me when the treasury was opening today... It kind of made my day!

It was great to get to create a visual graph of things that I like and amazing to see them meld together into something gorgeous....
Click here to see it for yourself! Come, comment! Browse around there are some outstandingly pretty items here and there's wonderful artists behind them... go see the rest of their stuff! You won't be disappointed!
Now go!
Click!
http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list_west.php?room_id=17372

G'night !
Megzy

and p.s..... I would accept anything on this page as a gift, except the flowerpot... that would just be silly! ;)

Tuesday part Deux!

2008-07-22T22:06:00.000-07:00

Ok I just figured out how to make one of these and thought I would share it with you !
it's called a "wordle" and I find it strangely fascinating....

You can make your own, of course, and of course it's free... hey it's something I like, it's going to be free or really really inexpensive... and kind of dorky all at the same time!
Go to http://wordle.net

or go here to see mine:

Greetings it's Tuesday

2008-07-22T15:55:00.001-07:00

Like totally it really truly is Tuesday. The day that isn't quite as weird as Monday, but usually pretty close. But I'm getting some work done as you can see! These 10 little flowerpots are going to a wedding! Can you tell?

This is a custom job that I received through my store on Etsy, http://megzytred.etsy.com

I think they're pretty cute! Hope the customer does too!!

The rain is getting way out of hand, today instead of starting at 3 pm.. it started at 1.

The humidity is making it difficult to work, so I'm working on Etsy photographs instead. At least I don't have to wait for those to dry like paint!

I keep putting the flowerpots that are sticky in the living room on a towel near an a/c vent, and some end up in the bathroom with the fans on to help move the humid air around a little more.

We had a great weekend, went out in service, went to go visit our cousins' new house, and went out for snowcones, which is our current favorite cheap thrill. At least it's fast and it's mostly all frozen water, so it's pretty wonderful for rehydrating the hot little people after an hour or so of door to door work.

We keep our days short and end with something fun while it's so hot, I wouldn't dare risk heat exhaustion with our little ones. Especially Gracie, she doesn't do well with the heat at all!

Went to one driveway that i have always wondered about, there is a thick bit of woods that their driveway curves through, we kept driving and the photographer in me was just itching to snatch my camera bag out from under the seat, jump out of the car and walk slowly the rest of the way.

Turns out the lady who lives there is lovely and after we talked for a few minutes she did in fact invite me to come back and do all the photographs I want and that I can even use her house, driveway and woods complete with quaint meandering path, as a location for other photography jobs....

Oooooo the possibilities, my mind boggles!!

Also I was treasuried again today!! Not the flowerpots, not ever the flowerpots, I don't know why.. but it's an Etsy mystery apparently. But the duo of Zinnia notecards was featured in a treasury dedicated to Zinnias.... very appropriate.

http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list.php?room_id=57896

and/or look in my photography store for the cards themselves! http://megzyphotographs.etsy.com

Make it a great rest of your day, I'm going to go get ready for meeting tonight, service was canceled on account of rain... and hopefully I'll get to work tonight and catch up on tivo!

:)
Megzy

What would you pay for.....

2008-07-15T14:51:00.000-07:00

.... a custom notebook with your favorite movie dvd cover???

In other words... Jana and I have a new toy! Ok mostly Jana has a new toy because she can cut straight lines and the binder machine lives at her house in it's adorable suitcase! But, I helped.

Actually I can't wait to practice using this bind-it-all machine! There's so much we can do with it! I'm excited to be able to make photo notepads, and maybe even a photo address book/rolodex type thing. What a wonderful way for all of us to create major excitement in our families while getting ready for the district convention or the circuit assembly, then by letting our children have something really special just for them and it will encourage them to listen and take notes too? Wow! Hey new notebooks work for me too... and if you threw in a new pen too I'd go just about anywhere happily. :)

Hopefully we will get notebooks up in the store soon. Not having precut paper or a way to easily cut paper to size, with straight lines, is making things difficult. Not impossible though! And next time we're going to have to spray the fronts with maybe a little of the spray enamel I use on the flowerpots, with the humidity we've had lately and my children's sweaty little hands, the covers are already looking a little ragged.

It's a learning process right?

In almost completely other news, I've gotten the MegzyPhotographs store going, and I sorted and photographed all the new card sets, and the extra 4 x 6's that took SOOOOOOOOO long to get here! Finally my prints came! It must have been the group sing-a-long! ;)

Now just have to list..... well frankly, everything.

Ebay store needs updating, keep an eye on that this next week, and I have some new pots that need to be listed in the MegzyTred store! Wow!! So much newness in the midst of so much monsoonal humidity, yuck.

At least the humidity is good for rusting the washers I need for my new flowerpot collection! :)

Can't think of anything I'd rather do then sit and watch the washers rust....

oh wait, yes I can, I'm going to take advantage of my napping children and make a pot of coffee and study for meeting.

Go forth and have a great rest of your day!

Megzy

I've been Tresuried!!

2008-07-13T19:26:00.000-07:00

I don't know how to save the treasury itself to show you all... but this is the photograph that was put into the treasury and this is the link to see the treasury itself, but hurry because it expires on Wednesday! http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list.php?room_id=56079

In other news.. it's still raining, the world is humid, the kids are nuts, my house needs cleaning and it's bugging me, and I spent the morning working on some new cards that I hope will be ready to list soon! Seems my little etsy store of MegzyPhotographs is making a tiny little pebble splash in the big big pond of Etsy. But I'm still thrilled! When I got the convo, which is Etsian for email... I had to let out a Squee of delight and jump around my living room. After which I had to explain to my slightly stunned and shocked hubby boy and children why I was excited.

To his credit, hubby boy listened to the entire explanation of what a treasury is, what a convo is, what front page of etsy is... and he didn't really let his eyes glaze over until the last second. Give that guy a klondike bar! Actually don't... apparently he's allergic to sugar, it makes him swell up all over!

Ok, back to work.

And cleaning my kitchen. And my whole resolution for this week is not to let the couch get eaten by what hubby boy calls "the Laundry Buffet".... of course I make no promises for the coffee table, the chair, or the footstool. ;)

Go check out the treasury! Go ahead! And if you want to, Squee and Jump! It's remarkably fun to do!

~ Megzy

Ta-DAaaaaaaaaaaa

2008-07-10T09:22:00.000-07:00

Wow!
Can you believe it?!? I actually got stuff posted in my new Etsy store, http://megzyphotographs.etsy.com/ !!
Ok there's only 8 card sets so far, but they look really good! I made sure that I put in the listing that I accept custom orders for larger prints if anything catches your eye! And instead of just photographing the individual cards, I listed the actual photograph file, with my text store address across them..... that way everyone can really see the photograph the way it looks in person, not just a photograph of a photograph... which seems silly to me anyways!

Yesterday I got tons of work done, and darling hubby boy brought home chinese food for dinner! Yum! Veggie stir fry!
Kids went to bed on time and it was just me and my tivo working into the night. It was actually really peaceful and somewhat enjoyable as I unraveled the tangle of my photographs in all different folders all over my computer. Time to organize!

Today I'm going to try to get up some of the matted photographs. Not my most current work, but I still love them. :)
I did clean out a few that I had matted and put in plastic sleeves for the last art fair, but they weren't really my favorites and they didn't sell. It was disappointing but at least I took that chance on them.

Today is overcast and muggy and drippy... the constant rain is starting to make me feel like we've migrated to a rainforest somewhere! Although my garden loves it.. the weeds are starting to get a little out of hand! Aha! A weekend project!
And I will get to hopefully start the wedding pots for the newest commission this weekend! I get to paint love birds, I'm so excited! :)

Now go forth and be productive and happy and all that, I'm going to snag another cup of coffee and get to work myself :)
~ Megzy

Sing with me....

2008-07-09T07:27:00.000-07:00

Ready to sing? Have you warmed up your throat a little??

Ok.... here goes..... the song of the frustrated photographer : Someday my Prints will come...

Wow! Good sing-a-long.. you've done this before haven't you?

Yes it's true... I'm waiting for my prints to come to fill up my new Etsy store. So far the store has a banner, and a great avatar courtesy of Jana's awesome banner and avatar skills! And I have a welcome paragraph, and policies, ... so now I just need new prints. Check out my new store anyways though, it won't stay empty for long! http://megzyphotographs.etsy.com

I do have some lovely matted prints from the last art fair I went to, so those are going in... but I'm really really excited about the new prints. Something about opening the box and holding my photographs in perfect color and a great lovely slidey thickness, oh it's happiness!

The Gap fire seems to be more under control but it grew a lot last night, I'm waiting to see what the morning news reports from Santa Barbara will have to say. I'm getting good and jumping around all the newspaper websites! My family seems to be doing really well through this.

My friend Julian commented last night that my sister is a strong person. It's true she really is, I don't think she realizes it yet though. But she's handled all this added stress from the fire and almost being a refugee with a maturity and grace that I'm really impressed with too.

I got a new commission last night! It's another wedding! I'm really excited! The woman who made the convo and the request seems quite lovely and I like her ideas!

Ok off to work... today I will accomplish great things.

;) Or I'll at least think about accomplishing great things,

Go make it a pretty great day, keep singing, you sounded pretty good...

~ Megzy

Goleta Gap Fire

2008-07-05T13:50:00.001-07:00

Today I am stressed and anxious about my family. The Gap Fire in Goleta, California is burning wildly. According to the keyt website, where I obtained this photograph... as of this morning it's burned almost 8,400 acres, and is only 24% contained.
My sister and grandfather, a few aunts and an uncle and possibly a cousin or two are all at my grandfather's house about 1 mile from the evacuation zone.
Decisions have to be made and supplies packed. They have been poised for flight and ready to go for days now. They keep losing power. There is a bad air advisory out. The house is sealed up because they cannot open the windows and doors to the thick air.
And my heart is aching because there is nothing I can do.
I long to somehow swoop in and gather them all up and take them somewhere safe until all this passes. I feel so helpless for them.
My grandfather spent time in the hospital the day before yesterday, they had to call 911 since he was having an episode with his heart.

I am trying to get things done around my house inbetween checking fire stats and all that. I am trying to focus this nervous energy into something productive, but I'm having a hard time suppressing this urge to just throw everything into the car and head for Santa Barbara to help my family be safe.
I hate this.
I truly do.

Our thoughts and prayers are with all those going through this stressful time there in Goleta and Santa Barbara.
The local Kingdom Hall is right in the center of the evacuation map on the keyt website. Meetings were canceled, which makes perfect sense. Behind the Kingdom Hall is this beautiful little wooded area and a small stream that I used to love to listen to when I was a little girl.
My heart is hurting for all these places that I loved to look at and see, and all the places that I had planned to go back and photograph.. "someday"...

Think of others today, hug your family and be safe.
~ Megzy

Totally Thursday

2008-07-03T10:42:00.001-07:00

Today is a work day! Got these two flowerpots listed last night in my Etsy store... I'm so proud of me! You know proud without being smug...
because I'm humble...
;)

It's a pretty good day today. We spent last night searching for news on the fire in my hometown in California. My sister called about 10 and said there was no power, they had candles and the radio. She had gone home and picked up her medication, her clothes and of course her Dodgers baseball cap. The essentials.
Everyone was spending the night at Grandpa's, the cars were gassed and ready to go...
the fire got pretty close to them, but they didn't have to evacuate.
whew.
I had to laugh because she said it's being called the "Gap" fire... she said she kept picturing firemen coming in to the house in khakis and saying "crazy! Sexy! COOL!"
Hey it's California... that could actually happen!

Today there's schoolwork to be done, not by me of course, and flowerpots to work on. I'm trying to remember to sketch out my random ideas because otherwise time passes and I'm staring at this oddly colored flowerpot trying to remember where that one was headed.
Ah the joys of losing one's mind while working at home.

Go forth and make it a great day everybody!
My etsy sister now has a blog too... check her's out at : http://paradisepotpourriglobalbizarre.blogspot.com

~ Megzy

Happy Tuesday

2008-07-01T13:38:00.001-07:00

Happy Tuesday!
Today has been a work day but with the snazzy new internet connection... Thank You Internet Guy!, at least pages are loading faster and I feel like I'm getting more done.

I am trying to split my Etsy store into two stores... today is supposed to be the day. Supposed to be, maybe I'm not getting as much done as I had originally thought, but there's still a good 10 hours left of today. It could happen!

I want to make a store just for my photography, just for people to buy or request prints from photographs that they may have seen here on my blog or on my Flickr albums, (just search for MegzyTred) .... it's a surprisingly hard thing to put myself out there like that and be vulnerable to failure.
It's a leap of faith and the question is, do I trust my art enough to take that leap?
I think I do... I hope I can make this work. With hubby boy's health up in the air still, my children needing my time here at home, my parents facing a possible move and even a relocation to another state... I need to find a way to help all of us keep our heads above water enough to enjoy the view of where we're at in life.

There's a rain storm coming in, my plants are eagerly looking forward to it! We have evening service tonight before our meeting at the Kingdom Hall. It's always a pleasant time for service since it's cooler out and people are a little less frazzled then they seem to be these hot summer mornings.

Enjoy these two photographs, one is little girl Heidi's mutant tiny little sunflower, it was only 6" high! More like a daisy then a sunflower but I don't want to hurt it's feelings. And yesterday for some reason I was just having a sad day, I couldn't explain it but I just wanted to go back to bed and cry my eyes out and I don't even know why. I texted hubby boy and told him I was just feeling a little blue.... he brought home roses. Wow... good timing :) Today I'm feeling brighter, my garden is weeded, my children did their schoolwork, we have clean laundry, clean kitchen, I photographed new flowerpots for Etsy, and the girls got a bath and are now sweetly napping all clean and damp around the edges. The week may actually turn out to be kind of excellent.
just maybe. :)

Make it a great rest of the day everybody!

love,
Megzy

Two eyes to see with means....

2008-06-27T09:49:00.000-07:00

... Time to get back to work, of course!
So finally we're feeling better, finally we don't have a huge line up of medications and those little measuring cups lining the counters. Finally I have two healthy eyes! And, a whole house to clean. But, I'll get around to that.... of course I will ;)

My current project are these two black flower pots that I added metal washers, some rusty, some not, and some glass flat marbles... I really like the effect! Keep an eye on my Etsy store to see what the finished projects look like! So far I'm really happy with the layers of different texture but it's still a super clean design.
Also trying to use up the rest of the pots that were half ready for a commission that half fell through. It's forcing me to use some creative muscle and think outside the box a little, so it's a good thing for me!

Ok.. I'm off to go do some laundry, get fresh sheets on beds and seal up some brand new pots that should be in the store soon... also, I am splitting my one Etsy store into TWO! I am pulling apart the photography and the flowerpots so that should help simplify things a little. I'll keep you posted!
Make it a great day!
~ Megzy

What a difference...

2008-06-23T19:33:00.000-07:00

... A week makes!

Last week we were a miserable bunch. A truly miserable, pitiful, disgusting, pestilence ridden, germ-filled..... miserable bunch!

We attempted to go to the "Guided by God's Spirit" 2008 District Convention of Jehovah's Witnesses in Tucson, Arizona..... Let me repeat again. We attempted to.

We were almost successful.

Almost doesn't really count though.

Let me take you back, back to where it all began, no that would take too long, let me sum up.

Friday the 13th was an auspicious day for us, not that we believe in that kind of thing but it truly was a weird day.

Hubby boy, and I and our oldest daughter, let's just call her Heidi, were ready and went and were even on time. Yes yes it's true. But our youngest, let's just call her Grace, was sick and at home with the grandparents, it was awful to leave her when she was feeling so lousy, but I knew she was in good hands.

I had an itchy eye from what I thought then was allergies.... oh boy was I wrong!

I was wearing my hated glasses, the ones that never actually leave the house. I was having a good outfit day but a bad hair day. Sigh. So feeling awkward and strange looking I attempted to conquer the convention with charm alone, since my looks had utterly failed me.

People that I had known for years looked questioningly at each other when I waved hello,

I was not recognized. Just when it occurred to me I hadn't worn glasses etc, since I was a gawky teenager, along comes a man I haven't seen since I was a gawky teenager.. of course he recognizes me right away!

It was nice to see him anyways :)

My eye got itchier and started leaking goo.... it was pretty gross. I realized by lunchtime that I had pink eye, which meant that poor little Grace had pink eye too. We called her doctor back home and got a perscription for her, but not for me.. ok we'll share. So there!

By afternoon my head hurt, my eye was nasty, my hair was worse... and the zit fairy had decided to visit my forehead. If I needed a lesson in humility, this was it.

but... wait..... it gets worse.

no really, it does.

In the middle of the afternoon session, I nodded off a little while listening intently to a lengthy experience, a good experience, but a lengthy one. This usually goes unnoticed, unless you snore or fall out of your chair or lean on a neighbor.... or have an eye leaking green pus that decides to seal itself completely shut in the 5 minutes that I fell asleep. Looking like a really mean pirate, I tried to casually walk to the bathroom....

where I unstuck my eye and was feeling better about the world in general, relieved for the little break, etc.

Until Heidi points out when we're almost all the way back to our seats, that my skirt is tucked up into my ahem, "Granny panties"... yes that's what she said.

at least I looked horrible enough no one recognized me!!

By Friday night Grace's eye had had a scleral hemorrage, that's where the white part becomes bloody, not a dangerous situation, just ugly.

Saturday I stayed home with Grace so grandma and grandpa, a.k.a. mom and dad, could babysit me too... nice of them. :)

Heidi went with Hubby boy and they had a good day.

By Sunday morning, the last day of the convention, Heidi woke up with a fever, and a grumpy attitude.

So Hubby boy left without us for the last day.

Sad, very sad.

Sunday night we got to visit TMC Hospital's Emergency room .... we had two sick little girls and I wasn't looking any better.

Monday we came home. Tired, feverish, disgusting... but we stopped on the way and bought popsicles and soup and all that good stuff....

Today, was an enormous change. And the best part was, my darling cousin Dawn and her family called us yesterday to see how we were, and then today... 4 children in tow, they brought us a meal, even dessert!

It was such a kindness.... and really loving on their part.

Tonight I sit here with the convention recorded and on my computer ready for me to listen to, thanks to dear friends who taped the whole convention for us, and we had a lovely balanced dinner, watched the drama courtesy of Hubby boy's kindness and consideration when he taped it for us on the digital camera.... my garden is blooming, my flowerpots are almost ready for sale and the world is just a little brighter.

~ Megzy

Two Years

2008-06-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

Two years ago, my grandmother died. I know that this happens, I know that it was not unexpected.... what amazes me is that the world didn't end that day, but has been forever changed since that moment.

My mother lost her mother that day, I held my mother while the lid of grandma's coffin was lowered after the viewing. I held my cousin's hand and looked at the photographs of our grandmother's life. I held my children after they laid flowers at my grandmother's grave. I held on to my brother and my sister that day, I haven't seen my brother since that day.

I watched these generations of people proclaim their love for each other, their love for my grandmother, their love and loyalty to my grandfather, "great man" they said.

They said of my grandmother, "she did her best for us", "she was always there for us".

In two years..... they have learned to fight over money, over property, to turn on each other and to name call, to accuse, to spend money without conscience.

In two years these people, my family... they have not inspired me, they have not drawn together, we have not stayed close or even in touch. We have fallen apart.

The "great man" that is my grandfather, and he truly is a great man, he sits with only a handful of those who proclaimed their love for him the day that my grandmother was buried.

They have forgotten my grandmother in the middle of their petty arguments. They have forgotten that she used to cook for us, she loved us, she loved the color purple, she loved ice cream, she loved my children, she loved to laugh, she adored jewelry, she was creative, she quilted, she loved pretty things. She loved her children. Now her children sit and cry that she never said she loved them enough, she never was really there for them... so why not grab as much stuff as possible? They have forgotten in their greed to see that love doesn't always say "I love you"... love can speak in many ways, love can be the mom who picked up all her kids from school in the rain in her gigantic buick, even though driving it scared her. Love is the mom who told them in their sleep that no matter what, they were "worth it".... Love is the mom who cooked sopa for them when they were having a bad day, Love is the mom who still retold stories of their growing up after they had children of their own, .... Love is the mom who tried to raise each one of them to be strong and good and creative.

She let them lead their own lives, go their own way, even when she didn't agree with what they were doing. She was there for them when they came home again.

There are only two things we can give to our children, roots and wings. She gave her children both whether they appreciate it now or not.

Today we hear of so many parents who abandon their children, hurt their children, hurt each other... I just want to remember the tiny woman who gave birth to 18 children. Who buried 5 children while they were still babies. Who found the strength to go on and raise 13 children to be functioning adults. Who lost a son a son to cancer and continued on....

I loved my grandmother, I respected my grandmother....

and I miss her.

Here I am....

2008-06-11T17:50:00.000-07:00

Now what?

And so it begins.

my blog.

my thoughts.

my time.

it's about time ;)